#(Little one deserves only to be put it in a corner for re-education to think abt shit hes doing)

[terrys-min-catl]

hey btw, here my interpretation of ep249 (or at least how my skill see it) Lets remember that shes now more purplish(?) than her in first blood-gold clothes

i was a bit traumatized by this ep tho (yeah. a bit late, but i had some important things to do sorry)

and. ta-da. my rambles. only them and no more bc no one of my friends knows a thing abt wtnv and current eps

somewhere in the corner, three of my many sides are flexing, each for its own reason. 1st one hopes for a post-Kevin au (to be at least half-real), where Kevin at least refuses the smiling God and opens his eyes (lol) to what is happening and it dawns on him and he gets a little better, but still traumatized. 2nd side is flexing because, like.., well.... Kevin stopped smiling, the Prophet himself(!!!), even for a while, but renounced the main commandment of his God. Where has this been seen? and if it not that, if he doesnt want to save Night Vale from adversity, then at least deal with the reflection of his other ver. past (and spit at Mother Lauren, but this is from mymself back though. optional action) And my 3rd side is flexing from just Kevin. Yeah. Like, my type of fictional characters are miserable poor characters with a difficult traumatizing past. those ones, when in the end it is no longer the character himself who suffers from their past, but their fans. I want to hug suchcharacters, light kiss (platonicaly) them on the forehead, and sit next to this poor thing (yes, I know they will kill me, but everyone has their own flaws, I forgive em) So, we saw Kevin again, not even after an eternity, but only a couple of episodes. My pants are full of happiness. and then the eyes are full of tears. Kevin is clearly up to something, he is clearly serious in his intentions, he knows what he is doing And Cecil is still a brainwashed moron, but hes allowed, he's Cecil

[saladejin]

Beyond Breathless | Jungkook

(cr.) Jungkook x Reader | first aider in training!au, childcare worker!Jungkook | s2f2l (not quite there), fluff and crack, awkwardness & touching, confident/bold reader

Summary: One class is all it takes for Jungkook to finally realise that yes, maybe there is someone out there who can put up with his timorous tendencies. Now, if he pays attention, he might just learn how to breathe again.

Warnings: None, shy sub kookie (he’s a mess y’all), and suggestive themes if you really squint

Word Count: 2.9k 

<< masterlist

A/N: Ok so this was part of my cuddle prompts game for August 2020, but it turned into a one-shot so I decided to post it accordingly. Also this is a really bizarre take on ‘cuddle’, but it’s there all the same. The prompt was 24.) between strangers. 

Took me FOREVER to write and edit because so much was going on, with Dynamite dropping and all these streaming/chart records being broken etc. but anyway I’m just in time to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUNGKOOK & CONGRATS BTS FOR GETTING THE #1 ON BILLBOARD’S HOT 100 💜💜

@vinterjeon​ this is for you wifey 

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵  

Jungkook was trying his best to stop tripping over his own damn tongue, but the pretty receptionist kept on asking him questions. Wasn't it easy to tell he was already kind of shitting bricks over here?

"The class began five minutes ago Sir, you shouldn't have missed too much," she said finally, handing the fidgeting man his papers with a smile.

Okay, let me go in then?

Jungkook nibbled at his bottom lip in apprehension when the woman continued to type something on her computer, nails dragging loudly across the keys as if to torture him further for his tardiness.

"I've notified Mr. Lee. Have a great class, Sir."

At the receptionist's gesture towards the nearby glass door, Jungkook immediately jerked into action. He muttered out a small 'thanks' with a bow and tried to take a deep breath, hating the fact that he would now hog every scrap of attention for being late to the class. It wasn't his fault traffic was bad!

Try as he might, slipping into the room silently was impossible when the door itself creaked loud enough for the neighbouring buildings to hear. Jungkook stifled a wince and took in the scene before him with wide apologetic eyes. 

"Jeon! Glad that you could join us." Mr. Lee grinned, the easy-going nature of the teacher easing Jungkook's nerves ever so slightly. With a shy bow, he entered the small room and could only count six other participants milling around the empty space.

The teacher clapped his hands together, causing a few of the other attendees to jump in their skin. "Alright, I think we can officially begin."

You shifted from foot to foot, eyeing the newcomer with interest. Jeon? Was that his last name? You had to admit he was quite handsome, but also you couldn't help feeling bad for the guy. He was clearly a blushing mess of humiliation for being late, even if it was only a mere five minutes. You couldn't see any of the other attendees being all that bothered, but as you all lined up in front of the stout teacher, you could almost feel the nerves radiating off the man's body from where he stood beside you.

"Welcome, everyone, to our First Aid Course specialising in providing emergency first aid responses in an education and care setting."

As Mr. Lee reeled off his spiel in that commanding tone of his, you gradually sensed the young man next to you beginning to relax.

~

Half an hour in, the class had gone over the process of CPR briefly - or as Lee would call it, cardiopulmonary resuscitation - and had even taken turns in performing the procedure on a nightmarish looking mannequin. Jungkook had no idea why some manufacturers decided to paint genuine human features on some of them, but in the end he supposed it added to the whole realistic element of the course.

"Hey there, you alright?" a sweet voice piped up from somewhere in front of him.

Jungkook's form went rigid as he darted his eyes away from where someone was being instructed, flooding with even more confused self-consciousness when he drank in the sight of you. You hadn't meant to intimidate him further, but the way he was so intently focused on the teacher and student currently practising CPR on the dummy had you worried.

"Me? Uh, sorry yeah I'm fine thank you," Jungkook stumbled out, a hand instinctively coming up to rub at his neck which was reddening the longer he maintained eye contact with you. He didn't know how he hadn't noticed you before, but then he remembered how he tended to lose the ability to concentrate in general whenever he was embarrassed or nervous.

You returned his shaky smile warmly. "You just seem a little tensed up. Are you scared of Mr. Lee or something?" Whispering out the last part, you revelled in the sight of his smile widening.

He let out a quiet laugh and shook his head. "No, I just really need to pass this course. Don't want to miss anything, you know?"

You nodded but had no time to respond.

"Okay!" Lee boomed, gaining everyone's attention instantly. "You've all shown your proficiency at this. Now we're moving on to the next part of the course. Since you're all going to be specialising with children and students once you're finished here, we need to thoroughly cover choking, airway obstructions and respiratory distress since they're quite frequent in childcare settings."

You caught Jeon nodding solemnly out of the corner of your eye, and wondered why he was taking this course in particular. Teacher maybe? He mentioned really needing to pass, so maybe he even worked with young kindergarteners or infants. Eyeing his well-built frame contained within a tight black t-shirt had your mind working a million miles a minute. It was oddly endearing to imagine this moderately tall, buff looking guy caring for kids with such gentle shy eyes, and such a soft-spoken voice.

"Pair up with each-other and I'll demonstrate the choking procedure on adults first of all," Mr. Lee instructed, his bright passionate eyes flashing with amusement as he crossed his arms and waited for his students to spur themselves into action.

Jungkook's eyes met with yours almost immediately, and he had to avert them again out of sheer bashfulness. He only tried to seek you out because he hadn't spoken to anyone else yet, and the way you were chuckling softly at his bout of eagerness had his lips quirking up into a shy smirk. Well, that was decided then.

"You, be my guinea pig for a bit."

It took Jungkook a moment to process that the teacher was beckoning him forward with a sturdy finger, but you were already on the ball and pressing a hand into his lower back before his mind could catch up. Hating the feeling of being watched by everyone else, he tried to ignore the way he shuddered at the combination of your subtle touch and the several pairs of eyes regarding him closely.

The teacher began his explanation, but Jungkook could only hear the rushing of blood past his ears at this point. Why him? Out of everyone here, Mr. Lee couldn't have chosen anyone else? Thinking back, he did remember that being late probably served to single himself out in the teacher's mind. He deserved to be picked on.

Suddenly, Lee's stocky hand was pressing itself into Jungkook's chest, and he only then thought to finally tune in with what the older man was saying.

"Then, bend the choking person over slightly. Preferably parallel to the ground, but as long as they're somewhat sturdy on their feet..."

Jungkook swallowed nervously as the teacher demonstrated by adding pressure to the space between his wide shoulder blades. As embarrassed as he was, it was relieving to see the rest of the students focused on the information rather than him. Some were even practising the manoeuvre already. His eyes instinctively flew to where you were standing on your own, and a sharp tingle travelled the length of his spine when he caught you appraising him with ... interest flashing in your eyes?

W-why?

You watched as the teacher proceeded to explain how to perform a back blow, though not putting his full strength into the heel of his hand in case he hurt his student. "Do this five times, and if the choking hazard isn't removed, we can move on to the Heimlich manoeuvre - otherwise known as abdominal thrusts."

Oho?

You couldn't even suppress the way your lips pursed in amusement, and some of the other attendees around you even exchanged knowing looks with one another, trying not to chuckle at the sight of Jeon's ears flashing a bright red colour in embarrassment. God, he'd never wanted to die so badly.

Luckily, Lee spared him the mortification by keeping his demonstration to limited physical contact. He gave instruction on how to stand behind the victim before wrapping your arms around their torso - to which he only created a circle with his arms around Jungkook - and making a fist shape with your hand, thrusting it upwards into the victim's stomach to hopefully dislodge the object from their airways.

Jungkook couldn't really form a coherent thought at the moment. He was too fixated on the way your eyes were watching the whole scene intently, and he felt so exposed but he also wasn't entirely hating it. Well, maybe only if he could forget there were other people in the room, that is.

His brain on autopilot, Jungkook barely registered his feet taking him back to his original position after the teacher had finished up his demonstration. You were facing him as soon as he got there, and he shoved away the tingles in his belly to cock his head in confusion.

"Well?" you spoke, open palms coming up to urge him into action, but he didn't know what for. He whipped his head around and scoured the room to see the other pairs re-enacting their own version of the choking procedure.

"You want me to...?" he trailed off, hands fumbling in the air awkwardly as he tried to pull the words seemingly from thin air. You hid your smile with the back if your hand, not wanting to embarrass him further by laughing in his cute little face. How someone so big and masculine looking could be so shy and sweet, you'd never know.

"Yeah. Literally just the same as what he did to you." You helped the struggling man with a reassuring nod, not missing the way he was still hesitant to make any kind of movement.

Jungkook wanted to kick himself. "Sorry, I don't think I remember exactly," he sighed out, waiting for you to roll your eyes and click your tongue in annoyance. Instead, you threw him right off guard by reaching out and gently turning him around on the spot by his broad shoulder.

"It's okay, I watched what he did."

Fuck, what?

The hairs on Jungkook's neck stood on end when he heard your footsteps drawing closer behind him against the linoleum flooring of the room, but when he tried to crane his neck around to see what you were doing, you simply chuckled and straightened his jaw forward with a firm dainty hand. His breath hitched when your fingers then lingered ... eventually trailing down to lightly press against the column of his throat.

"What are you doing?" He jerked away, heart thumping against his ribcage so hard he thought he'd faint right there. Your brows only furrowed together in shock.

"Checking your throat to see where the blockage is? It was literally the first step."

You saw the way his eyes fell almost instantly, the internal berating quite evidently written on his features. "Sorry, it's my fault for not paying attention before," he mumbled and bowed his head in apology.

"It's okay. Just turn around," you snorted, thoroughly entertained. He was seriously too adorable to match the way he looked, but you supposed judging books by their covers was an outdated practice in this day and age.

Following the steps, you performed the back blow after pressing down on his shoulders to lean him forwards slightly. His muscles felt so taught underneath your hand, and you really had to battle the urge to just forget the exercise and run your hands down the expanse of his clothed back. Something told you he wouldn't protest, either.

Jungkook didn't know how to feel. His wide doe eyes fixed themselves on your hand that was splayed out on his chest, only serving to steady yourself, and he couldn't help but let his mind wander. When the heel of your other hand came down in between his shoulder blades, he physically lurched. Not because of the force, there was no way you could match him in strength, but it shocked him enough in its suddenness that a tiny grunt fell from his lips.

"Excellent form, (Y/n)!" Mr. Lee spoke up from the other side of the room. Jungkook came back to his senses and straightened his position, briefly catching your beaming smile from the teacher's praise. He just hoped to dear God you hadn't heard his pitiful whimper at your touch.

At least I have a name now.

"Okay, are you doing the Heimlich or am I?" You then turned to him, and he swallowed thickly yet again. This one he did remember a little more vividly, but envisioning standing behind you and pressing his fist into your stomach made his hands tremble slightly. He couldn't do that! What if he hurt you?

"Um, you can." He cleared his throat and gestured to you in a manner he hoped came across as confident. You saw right through him anyway, but the man was still cute, so you let it slide. As much as you longed to tease him, you were still basically nothing more than a stranger right now. Even you knew when some lines shouldn't be crossed.

Your lips curved in amusement and you motioned for him to turn around. "Okay then, I'll try not to make it too painful."

"Don't worry, I can handle-" Jungkook's sudden show of cockiness vanished as soon as your arms wrapped around his small waist. Were you ... pressing yourself to his back? He couldn't remember the teacher going that far, but here you were with a friendly smile and mischievous eyes, shaping your body to his in a way that had his breathing pattern suddenly sharp and shallow.

"Bend over a little," you directed, trying not to laugh at how you could see the tips of his ears burning a bright crimson underneath the black tresses of hair brushing just above them.

Jungkook almost shuddered at the sensation, but fought the urge in order to comply with what you were asking. It wasn't long before you were surprising him yet again by bringing your hands together into the Heimlich fist and flat palm formation, arms comfortably settled around him and fingers brushing just above his navel as you prepared to squeeze.

Amidst his inner panic, you were enjoying this immensely. It wasn't an everyday occurrence to be able to plaster yourself to someone so attractive, and so downright eager to please. You knew it was meant to be strictly professional for educational purposes and such, but the way this guy was responding to you was undeniably exciting. You'd tiptoed the line that shouldn't be crossed carefully, and he only seemed to be liking it more and more.

Considering the way his palms were sweating profusely at the close contact, he knew he was a goner.

With a quick word of warning, you performed the abdominal thrust as gently as you could while still making sure it was firm enough to lift him slightly off his feet. The sudden show of strength stunned him, but he wasn't about to let it show. He'd already made a fool of himself one too many times today as it stood.

"Easy enough." You chuckled, letting the man go quickly so he could regain control of his senses somewhat. He leaned away, but to your surprise didn't move to exit your personal bubble. In all honesty, he had no desire to part from you at all.

You inwardly cursed at yourself for flushing at the thought and raised your hands in invitation. "Did you want to try on me?"

"Ah, no it's alright. I think I have it all now." He flashed a small smile, tapping one index finger to his temple in emphasis. His reluctance confused you, but judging from his largely bashful demeanour, he most likely never planned to make any moves to touch you in the first place. It was forward of you to take the lead, but you'd be lying if you said it wasn't in your nature.

There's always next time anyway...

"That's a wrap for this week's class!" Lee's bellowing voice snapped you both out of your thoughts, and you had to blink away the embarrassment from all the shameless staring.

"Hey what's your name by the way, I don't think I caught it before." You tried to save grace with a polite, yet awkward handshake. Jungkook only felt his heart grow warmer at the thoughtful gesture.

"It's Jungkook. Sorry I should've said sooner, before you had to punch the shit out of my back."

That tore a laugh from you, and soon enough all the tension in the air had melted away. "It wasn't that hard, c'mon."

His smile, which you now adored after catching a glimpse of his bunny-like teeth, had quickly become one of your favourite things to look at. "I swear you were this close to beating me up," he joked, feeling more alive than ever.

Jungkook collected his bag from beside the door and filed out into the administration area alongside everyone else. He took a moment to eye the receptionist from earlier, wondering what might have happened if she'd told him he was unable to attend the class after all. Watching you walk away from him with a tiny wave of farewell had him resolutely believing it was fate that brought him here.

He just couldn't wait for next week.

Copyright © 2020 by salade. All rights reserved.  

[rrrawrf-writes]

lordy lordy loo it’s been a hot minute since i’ve made an original post, i forgot where the button was

so. some of you may have seen the stuff running around about violetvineyard and mvcreates, some of you may not have. i’m just gonna lay out my experiences here, now that other people are talking about it and now that the server has been deleted. i’m gonna try to present a fair and nuanced version; i’m not gonna include screenshots (right now) bc i’m lazy, mostly.

there are several other people who are putting up way better breakdowns than i am. i just figured i might as well toss mine onto the pile bc why not? but if you’re hoping to hear from me a story about how i’ve been wronged, per se, you won’t find much of one, because i played mainly a spectator role, and never had much trouble there. i will have a vague, lukewarm defense of some of the people involved that other people may not agree with, but again, this is all just the whole VV deal from my point of view.

@nuwuhorizons (i haven’t said how dang much i lOVE your url) and @sapiencenotes have very good receipts and breakdowns. if you want a more in-depth (and dramatic, forgive me for using the word, i’m not trying to downplay this), check them out. @time-to-write-and-suffer also has some great stuff on their blog about all of this.

all righty. so. i joined VV not right at the beginning, but soon after it was started. there was an application process, i got accepted, i was looking for a community to help me start writing more. (it didn’t help, but that’s not their fault, that’s mine.) the person who owned the server was called mina, and on tumblr, mina’s url was mvcreates. mina is a nonbinary Muslim woman of color, a professional who i believe works at harvad and deals a lot with things like infectious diseases, iirc. she was doing a whole lot of work when the pandemic came around, and so the past few months wasn’t quite as active as she had been at the start, both on the server and tumblr. 

the very first time mina came on my radar, before i joined vv, was because she had corrected someone’s typo on a post, and it stirred up a minor drama about “don’t give unsolicited criticism” and “is pointing out minor errors like that okay” and blahblahblah. i ran across that on a friend’s dash, and also ran across the promo for vv from that friend’s dash, as well, and joined bc y not.

everything was p cool for a while. it was nice to meet some new people and some of my mutuals on there. mina seemed like a fun person. she was about a year, year and a half, maybe, older than i am. the first things that kind of started rubbing me wrong at the start was how she would kind of dismiss suggestions for the server than i and a friend had, and how she kept bringing up her age - she would often say things like “well i wouldn’t do that but i’m an Old(TM) so maybe i just don’t get it” and i can’t really explain why that bothered me. i think it felt dismissive, like Younger Folks Don’t Know How Things Should Work. also, like. she kept bringing it up. as if it meant something, as if plenty of us on that server weren’t actually around her age. there was a convo on vaccinations where i wanted to make the point that a lot of anti-vaxxers should be educated instead of ridiculed and shamed, but i never really got to making that point bc she jumped in very sharply and explained that anti-vaxxers all come from a class of people who are generally educated. i didn’t bother saying anything else. 

at the start, it was tiny little things like that. i chalked it up to her personality and mine just not quite matching up. i sat down a lot and examined my own internal biases, bc i knew something was bugging me, but i couldn’t tell if it was legitimate, or if i was jealous and petty, or if i was being discriminatory towards her identity. i still wonder that a lot; i want to be careful that i’m examining her actions here, and not the person who made those actions.

because the other thing that bothered me was that she was perfect at pretty much everything. she was a decent, if not good, writer, from what i read. i thought her “art”/edits were neat, even if sometimes i looked at them going “that just looks like an edit, not your own art, but u kno, edits are art too, so i’m not gonna say anything.” she had a lot of motivation, a lot of ambition. soon, this kind of transferred over into me feeling like she acted like she had to be perfect at everything. i think this is probably one of the more “lisa is just being petty” things, rather than a judgement on her character, but she seemed to flaunt her own skills and accomplishments a lot. not that no one is allowed to brag sometimes! but it was just another layer of “this bothers me.”

then there was the hero worship.

people in the server loved mina. i liked her. i had no problems with her, even if there were a few things i was a little “ehhhh” about. vv got pretty big, pretty quickly, and i assume there was a decent amount of turnover and people who just joined to lurk or sometimes share things in the promos channel or elsewhere. but the most active folks just. they adored mina with every fiber of their being. mina could do no wrong. no one ever called her out on anything; everything she did was hailed as fantastic and wonderful. and honestly, for the most part, it wasn’t like she was doing crappy stuff. some of the praise was well-deserved, imo, but it just bordered on embarrassing for some of these people, how much they just worshipped the ground she walked on.

and she didn’t really like, discourage it. like, at the start, i think i remember her being more modest, but in general, she just let it go, and so did i, bc like. i aint that kinda jerk.

the stated purpose of violetvineyard was to have a community that valued reciprocity. reciprocity was mina’s biggest thing. there was a channel for people to post their stuff on, so the rest of us could browse and read and reblog. i, admittedly, didn’t do as much of that as i wish i did, but part of it was because i do have a life outside of the internet, a memory and attention span the size of a gnat, and because like. 90% of the stuff that people put in the promos channel were things like edits, writeblr intros, wip intros, etc etc, when all i wanted was to just read some actual writing. but that’s neither here nor there. what got hilarious to me, though, was whenever mina’s fervent admirers would talk about how mina was, quote, a pillar of the community. how vv was doing something No Other Writeblr Group Had Done Before. how Important and Special this server was.

folks. i’ve been on here for several years now. we don’t have a community. we have a bunch of little cliques who reblog from their friends and complain about people not reblogging them. noah fence, but come on. vv got pretty dang big, but it was still a small corner of a small section of tumblr. like. sorry, all y’all, but them’s the breaks.

also, this was hilarious to me bc there are several big writeblrs who have been running around long before mina and vv showed up. yet, according to these people in the server, mina had Single-handedly Brought Hope To This Desolate Wasteland.

in the end, vv became just another little clique whose members reblogged from their friends. i don’t want to devalue the good that did come out of vv. a lot of the picture being painted rn was that the majority of the server were scary dog-piling people. the majority of the server were just writeblrs looking to promo their stuff and talk about their writing. unfortunately, few bad apples, bad rep, negatives outshine positives, etc etc. but i think it did do some good re: exposure for a few folks, even tho it didn’t turn into what it could have been. 

another one of the things that was a minor irritant to me was that they eventually started archiving the vent channel, which was probably the most-used channel. that didn’t sit right to me, but as always, i was a coward had nothing to say about it, so i didn’t. the reason given was that there were often things in the vent channel that people might regret being there, so it was periodically archived and a fresh channel started.

so i’m rambling a lot about stuff that’s probably boring and inconsequential. that’s 90% of this whole vv thing, tho, you need to understand that. 

the biggest thing that bothered me about mina, i think, came about from the constant hero worship from her adoring fans. and i know there’s a whole argument to be said about expecting labor from people with marginalized identities, which is an argument i agree with - don’t expect someone of a minority group to educate you or to face trauma or to shut down bigots, etc etc. but by now, mina had a lot of followers in general, and in specific, she had quite a few people who would defend her at every single perceived slight.

she made a lot of those fun writeblr reblog games, like “send me a fruit that says this about my writing.” those were cool, i’ll admit that. but she was super into “you have to send an ask to the person you reblog from, RECIPROCITY!!!!!!!!!!!” and seemed to struggle with the fact that sometimes, people don’t follow her established rules on her posts for these games. she’d complain about it every single time that happened in the vent channel, which, again, that’s fine? that’s what vents are for, it’s annoying to not get cool fun asks when you do these games, but also, that’s life for you. she could depend on her fans to send her plenty of asks, whereas the much smaller blogs who reblogged these games would probably get f-all, half the time. if you’ve gone through nuwuhorizons or one of the other blogs i mentioned earlier, you’ll have run across the incident where mina’s friends harrassed an 11 year old for not doing her ask game right.

an eleven year old. 

and this is my biggest grief with mina. she only stopped her friends from dogpiling people... once? maybe twice? that i remember. and not only that, but there were SEVERAL occasions where she would get on the vent channel, complain about someone who had said something wrong on one of her posts (and sometimes, again, these were legitimate!), and then ask if someone in the server wanted to reply to them. reasons for such ranged from “i’m too busy rn” to “they would probably listen more to a white person than me.”

again. this, on occasion, is not necessarily a bad thing. we cannot expect labor and response from minorities. my issue was that she kept doing this. and sometimes it was fine, just someone who would drop a note on the post or send a polite anon. but this, to me, the whole asking someone else to fight your battles for you? that really bothered me. mina is a grown adult. either ignore it, like the rest of us chumps, or deal with it yourself. having friends support you is not a bad thing - if i was attacked on tumblr and my friends jumped in to defend me, i’m cool with that. but i wouldn’t ask them to, and then not do anything myself.

to me, this attitude just encourages dogpiling. this felt like she was taking advantage of the people admiring her so whole-heartedly, and using them to deal with minor grievances. (again, i don’t want to downplay some of the actual racism and xenophobia she experienced on this website, because there was some pretty sketchy stuff that did need someone else stepping in to object to. but then there was “ugh this person asked me what program i use to make my music and i don’t want to answer them bc that’s rude,” and stuff of that caliber. like, mina, you built yourself a pretty big following here on tumblr, you don’t get to complain when people are trying to ask you questions and engage with you when you set yourself up as a knowledgeable person on a subject.)

i’m going to mention @gingerly-writing because she already made a post on the subject, but there was an instance where we were in the vent channel and watched a lot of mina’s friends send anons and reblogs of a hurtful nature to one person. eventually, ginger stepped in to say “hey, i don’t think we need to keep doing this, they are a minor,” and after she did so, i also jumped in, saying something along the lines of, “yeah, i’ve seen this kind of stuff blow up in another server and end in a really regrettable situation where no one was happy, can we stop.” both ginger and i received a private message from the mods (individually) saying that we shouldn’t police the chat, etc etc. not during that message, but on the vent channel, another mod jumped in to say that the people dogpiling the blogger were also minors. as if that makes it okay, and isn’t actually extremely worrying in its own right.

after that, i pretty much took a stance of “all right then i just won’t say anything at all.” i stuck around vv because i hated myself actually really liked a few of the others in the server, including a couple of the mods who are actually really cool people, not all the vv mods are sketch, and because honestly? i lowkey knew that vv was going to crash and burn sometime, and i wanted to be there to watch what happened. due to the pandemic, and her line of work, mina became less active, and the whole server died down a bit. 

then someone reblogged one of mina’s ‘art’ posts and accused her of tracing. mina’s admirers immediately jumped into action. nuwuhorizons has it pretty well documented on their blog. there was nothing in the server about it, except one of the others said “oh man i saw that and it pissed me off,” there was some minor chat, and then i woke up and wanted to know what had happened, and was told “don’t worry about it.”

so, naturally, bc the only thing i thirst for is water and Drama(TM), i went looking for it.

found it on some of mina’s friend’s blogs, where i found who had reblogged and said mina was tracing, and followed those reblog chains, where several of mina’s followers attacked the accuser and made fun of their name and age and defended mina, pulling out progress videos and stuff of mina’s work. the accuser was trans and still a teenager, even if technically an adult, so that made things a lot worse. mina eventually posted something explaining that she was pencil tracing and had a very cheery, false-positive tone to the whole thing.

things sorta ended at that, but then maybe the same day, or the day after, user hyba made that big ol post about the Big Scary Tumblr Mirror Website Copying All Your Good, Hard Work. mina and her friends jumped on this. they threw it in the server and talked about things like intellectual property rights and “i don’t like how this makes me feel :(” and from there, went in to how tumblr was a terrible garbage site and then mina and most of the mod team decided that it was time to pack up VV and leave tumblr completely. 

pretty much everyone i know were mina’s besties have vanished off tumblr. mina made an announcement that VV was “migrating” off tumblr and discord(???) and dropped another application to join the great vv migration. i did not apply bc i just have too freaking much going on in my life and needed to get out of this for the sake of my own mental health. it was tempting as hell, tho, i will say that. 

a couple things about this - at the time, mina is also having some pretty bad things going on in her family. she was very vague on the details, but i think that really contributed to wanting to leave; on top of the pandemic and everything else, she was probably heckin stressed. but also like. she never called out her followers for attacking her accuser. she never made any sort of post talking about it. she never told her friends on the server “hey don’t do that.” she never took accountability for it, or, honestly, for anything else she or her friends have done that didn’t feel too good. the mirror sites aren’t really a big deal. 

after the server was archived, it was left up a couple days so everyone could grab contact info, etc. during this time, i was checking the ‘violetvineyard’ tag and saw someone post “what happened to mvcreates they haven’t answered my application to vv,’ and i responded with “oh, the server closed down bc of the copy cat sites.”

the same day, i got a tumblr DM from one of the former mods asking me not to give away any details about vv leaving tumblr. it was very politely worded and everything, but it was still just like

okay? vv is over? why are you asking me not to say anything. and it wasn’t like i was even spilling any hot goss, i was just repeating the excuse (and i do mean excuse) mina gave us. 

anyway, that mod is off tumblr, too, as far as i know, or else they stealthin. which is fine, u do u, buddy.

uhh conclusion time, i guess? i have a few scattered screenshots of things, but i’m not posting em bc i’m lazy and also running late for a thing. but really, for me, i didn’t have a whole lot of beef with mina or pretty much any of the other folks on vv. i thought that mina and her friends were a bit too eager for blood, and that really bothered me. i’m annoyed they shut down vv completely, because it could actually have been something great. if mina wanted off writeblr, i wish she had given the whole network over to people interested in running it; instead, what was a good thing for a lot of people is now completely gone, with no existing framework for people to build on. sure, anyone can go make their own network/family for writeblr, but now it’s just going to splinter into a bunch of different, smaller groups, and we’re all back to square one.

but whatever. i didn’t get to see the server go down in flames, instead it just ended with a hasty retreat and a few whimpers, and quite honestly i wished my staying in had paid off.

i do want to reiterate - there were quite a few people in vv who i think are great, and this does include some of the mods themselves.

i’ve also gotten a couple messages from a few other folks who had been in vv who have their own real, real sketch stories, which are making me rethink how i feel about mina and her friends, and all the good credit i gave them. i just wanted to present this bc it’s my blog and i do what i want, fight me.

and if anyone wants to chat about vv, hit me up. i keep things as private as you want them to be, and i love love love talking about this nonsense. Give Me The Deets.

[perspective-series]

Kingdom Perspective (14)

By: @arc852 and @hiddendreamer67

Warnings: Fear, panic, kidnapping, keeping/treating people like pets, threats, and unwanted touching/grabbing

First Chapter || Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

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Virgil looked at the toothpick, realizing he had been caught in a lie. “Oh, I would, but we’ve really got to finish our game…”

 Roman thought for a moment and his eyes glanced towards the board. “Will you show me if I win?” Roman asked.

“If you win?” Virgil considered those odds. Virgil was pretty good at chess, and it seemed Roman had only ever won in a fluke. “Yeah, I’ll take those odds. What happens if I win though?”

 “You don’t have to show me your claimed ‘skills’?” Roman suggested, trying his best to keep the grin off his face.

“I was hoping for more of a prize, but I do like being lazy.” Virgil rubbed at his chin. “Shake on it?” Virgil stuck out his hand.

 Roman carefully gripped Virgil’s hand between his thumb and forefinger and gently shook it. “The deal has been made.” Roman said.

 He then reached over and moved his queen. “Checkmate.” 

Virgil’s face fell, slowly realizing the trap he had so foolish fallen into as he was busy underestimating his opponent.

“Uh...so about that.” Virgil looked sheepish. “I may have slightly exaggerated my skills.”

 Roman hummed, the smirk still on his face. “Yes, I figured. But a deal is a deal.” He held out the toothpick out more insistently. “I want to see how well you can fake your way through this.”

“Oh geez.” Well, here goes nothing. Virgil hesitantly grabbed the toothpick.

 Roman grinned and then sat back, arms crossed. “Alright, show me what you got.” Roman had a feeling this was going to be very entertaining.

“Ah, of course, my fencing skills.” Virgil adjusted his grip on the wooden rod. ‘En Guarde!” Virgil thrust it forwards like he had seen on tv, then tried to re-enact some of the fight scenes from various fantasy scenarios. Though the moves in his head were epic, bringing them to life more resembled… well, him wildly waving a stick around like a child who just discovered Harry Potter.

 Roman couldn’t help but laugh as he watched Virgil practically waving the stick around. “Okay, no, just...no.” Roman said in between laughs. “You’re even holding it wrong and your position is quite frankly atrocious.”

“Hey, gimme a break.” Virgil shrugged, stopping his little charade. “I am using a toothpick here.”

 “True but you could still hold it better. Even the way you stand can make a huge difference. Here, let me…” Roman reached towards Virgil as he spoke but trailed off and froze as he realized what he was doing. He bit his lip. “Um...may I?”

Virgil tensed. “May you what?” He asked, not sure how far Roman had intended to go.

 “Just, move you into position? It’s less confusing to move you myself than if I tried to explain it…” Roman said, hand still hovering. “I’ll be gentle, I promise.”

Virgil was about to protest, but then he remembered that in lots of athletic things the trainers would help guide your limbs into position. This was only different because of a very noticeable size gap, but for once Roman’s grabbing made sense. It was likely how Roman learned to do it, too.

“Uh, yeah, I guess.” Virgil agreed, trying not to feel weird about it. After all, in this instance touching actually meant that Roman was treating him like a regular person. 

 Roman gave the human a soft smile and then brought his hand the rest of the way over to Virgil, gently starting to nudge his limbs into the correct position. “See, your feet need to be like this and more apart, putting a bit more weight on the right then the left.” Roman nudged his feet just so. 

 “And you need to hold the sword up higher.” He pushed on Virgil’s arms to move.

Virgil corrected his footing, moving whenever he felt Roman’s fingers pushing him into place. True to his word, Roman’s touch was almost uncharacteristically gentle. 

“Like this?” Virgil asked, shifting his hold on the toothpick as his arms were straight out in front of him, propped up by Roman’s fingers still.

 Roman grinned. “Perfect!” Roman took his hand away. “Now, jab the sword forward quick and then bring it back to the same position.”

“Hya!” Virgil lunged forwards, then did his best to reset as Roman instructed.

 “Nice! See, I told you a proper stance can make a hell of a difference.” Roman said with a grin. “Now try a forward slash, but step forward as you do this one and then back to position.”

“Ah, yes, the forward slash.” Virgil looked a bit lost. “Just to make sure you’ve got this down pat, I think you should educate the group.”

 Roman blinked at that but grinned. “Why of course.” Roman stood up and grabbed his sword from the corner. He back a bit away and got into position. “You do it, like so.” He grunted the last word out as he delivered a heavy forward slash before getting back into position.

Virgil blinked, watching the giant blade move through the air. He didn’t feel in danger, what with the fact it was Roman and he was standing several feet away, but it was still a sight to behold.

Virgil focused back on himself, copying the movements. Though he got the positioning correct, it was a lot less impressive when done with a toothpick.

 “You are learning fast.” Roman said with a proud grin. “Want to go over a few more moves?” Roman was excited to teach.

“Sure, Princey.” Virgil smirked. It certainly couldn’t hurt to know a few sword moves, even if he would probably never get into a sword fight in his life. Besides, this was actually pretty fun.

 Roman continued to show Virgil a few more moves, each one Virgil getting after a try or two. Roman had to admit, Virgil was a natural. Or maybe that was just his teachings. Either way, Virgil was doing great.

 But after an hour, Roman could see Virgil was getting pretty tired, not used to the strenuous workout. “I think that’s a good place to end, what do you think?”

“Oh, yeah.” Virgil panted, not realizing how exhausting this would be; he certainly needed to work out more. “I can take a break if you’re feeling tired.”

 Roman smiled. “I think a break would be good for the both of us.” Roman placed his sword back in the corner and took a seat. “You did better than I thought, though. I’m really impressed.”

“Thanks.” Virgil gave him an actual smile, sitting down as well. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

 Roman chuckled. “Why thank you. I’d say I’m a natural but it could also be the ten years of lessons as well. Hard to tell at this point.”

“I have to say I’m...actually impressed.” Virgil admitted. “I know you were probably forced to do it, but still, that’s a lot of dedication. I’ve never really been dedicated to anything.”

 “I wouldn’t say that.” Roman said with a teasing smile. “After all, you seem pretty dedicated to that look of yours.”

“Ah yes, my emo personality.” Virgil snorted. “Well, at least all my years on MySpace and Tumblr are finally paying off.” 

 Roman blinked. “I have no idea what those are.” They did sound like they fit Virgil’s style though, somehow.

“Just some internet sites where dark souls like myself perfect our edgy personas.” Virgil smirked.

 “...Internet?” Roman was so confused.

“Uh….” Virgil was at a loss for how to explain such a concept to a fantasy prince. “It’s kind of like...a really fast way to share information? Sort of like magic, maybe.”

 “Oh. Okay.” He still didn’t really get it but he figured that was for the best. “Anyway, I was thinking. I may be able to get my hands on a sword your size. It may take a while but in the meantime we can practice with the toothpick. You already have a lot of the basics down so I’d say you’d get the rest of them within the next week. Then we could get started on a bit more complicated stuff. Oh! Maybe I can teach Patton too so you have someone to spar with!” Roman grinned, overcome with this new excitement. 

Virgil felt his heart twinge slightly, feeling guilty to be the bearer of bad news. “Uh...Roman? That all sounds great, but I’m not going to be here next week, remember?” So long as everything went according to plan, of course.

 Reality crashed down on Roman at Virgil’s words. “Ah, yes, right…” His excitement was gone in an instant, replaced by the ever familiar gnaw of loneliness and disappointment. “I mean...must you leave right away?” Roman asked quietly.

“...well, we really shouldn’t delay it.” Virgil reasoned, only a tad bit nervous at Roman’s wording. Now he mostly just felt pity for the guy. Roman didn’t exactly seem to have many friends, if Virgil himself even counted as one. “I’ve already been gone long enough, and Patton needs to get out of here as soon as possible.”

 Roman looked down. “Right. No, yes, of course you are right. Can’t...can’t delay it…” Roman sighed. He had been hoping...but of course, why would Virgil want to stay with him after everything he had done? Maybe he even deserved to feel this way, for all the trouble he caused. All the times he had treated Virgil as a...pet.

“...hey.” Virgil looked at Roman intently. “I had fun just now with you, Roman. This isn’t personal, I just...I don’t belong here, you know? And even if I wanted to stay here, well, I couldn’t...could I? I mean we saw how today went when I tried to accompany you.”

 “No, you’re right. You have your own world you need to go back to and it is dangerous for you here, it’s just…” Roman sighed, thinking something over.

 “Virgil? ...Are we friends?” Roman had to ask. He knows they weren’t at first but maybe now? He was better now, after all. Virgil even said he had had fun hanging out with him! But...Roman was still nervous of what Virgil would say.

“I mean, I’m not really a labels person, but…” Virgil thought it over. It was strange to think about, but he did find himself actually caring about Roman now as a person. “Yeah, I’d say we are.”

 Roman’s eyes widened. Having hoped for that answer but not expecting it. “R-Really? Even after everything I did…?”

“Do you want to not be friends?” Virgil said incredulously.

 “No!” Roman exclaimed. “No, I very much want to be friends! I just...do I really deserve your friendship? I know I am changed now but I still...I treated you so horribly…” Roman felt like he could cry, honestly, but years of feeling like that helped him to push the feeling away and keep his eyes dry.

“Ugh, yeah I know.” Virgil shuddered, his memories flashing back to when he first came here. All the grabbing, the demands, the constant belittling…

“But it’s not like you were trying to be a massive jerkwad.” Virgil pointed out. “You’re just an idiot. Which made it super hard to get through your thick skull, but also made it easier to forgive you for all that. Because you’re not really a bad person at all.”

 Roman gave Virgil a soft smile. “Thank you...that means a lot.” Roman sighed and looked away for a moment.

 “I guess that means I have a whopping total of...one friend.” Roman chuckled humorlessly.

“I thought Remy was your friend.” Virgil reminded him. “And Logan has to be your friend, he’s your brother. He’s contractually obligated to tolerate you.”

 “Logan may have to tolerate me but that does not make us friends. As for Remy...that’s a bit of a longer story...but he doesn’t consider us friends.” Roman said sadly.

“Well why not?” Virgil said incredulously. “I mean, he annoys me, but he’s perfect for you.”

 “I thought so too. But he...well, during that chess game I told you about, he...told me he couldn’t be my friend. That I was not only too young but...but I was technically his boss and not only that but the prince and he said it would be...weird.” Roman didn’t meet Virgil’s eyes as he explained.

“...oh.” Virgil had thought everyone would be clambering over each other to be best friends with a prince; he never imagined that just holding the title would keep you alienated from others. 

“Well what about all your soldier dudes?” Virgil offered. “Surely there’s somebody who sword fights you who you consider a friend.”

 Roman just shook his head. “The most half of them want to do is prove they are better than the prince of the kingdom. The other half don’t do anything because I have the power to get them in trouble…” And maybe Roman would have done so, had done so, when he was younger, but not now...he was past that.

“Gotcha.” Virgil noticed the friend pool seemed pretty thin. “So, who can you befriend then?”

 “I don’t know...I feel like I’ve tried everyone.” Maybe if he hadn’t been born a prince, he’d have more friends...but he would never know.

“I mean, come on, there has to be somebody!” Virgil insisted. “Other royals? Visiting dignitaries?”

 Roman shook his head. “Just you.” Roman said quietly, looking down at his lap.

“...right.” Virgil muttered. “I see why you did the whole kidnap a human thing now. I mean, still incredibly, horribly wrong, but...at least I get it.”

 “It came from a mix of jealousy towards Logan and my...my loneliness.” Roman said. “You’d think I would be used to it by now and I am but...it still hurts.”

“Yeah, no kidding.” Virgil certainly wasn’t the mother hen type where he felt like it was his responsibility to fix all of Roman’s problems, but at the same time he couldn’t help but feel sorry for the guy.

“Back home I’m the same way.” Virgil fessed up. “Except I didn’t try so hard to make friends, I just drive people away naturally.”

 “Really? I never would have thought.” Roman teased slightly, despite his down in the dumps mood.

“Heh, yeah.” Virgil’s smirk held less sass then normal, his eyes betraying a hint of sadness. “I...didn’t have much back home. I don’t know if anybody even knows I’m gone. Kind of a bummer when you think about it, and now I’m just gonna have to thrust myself back in...mediocrity.”

 “Yes...sort of like what will happen to me once you are gone.” Back to a sad and lonely normal.

“Mhm.” Virgil mused. “...what if I stayed?”

 Roman’s head snapped up, looking at Virgil. “Wh-What?” Had he heard Virgil right?

“Oh, ah, I mean…” Crap. Virgil hadn’t meant to say that out loud, but now he had to explain himself. “I was just...thinking. About the ‘what if’s.”

 “R-Right.” Roman bit his lip, trying not to get his hopes. “And...what if you stayed?” Roman echoed Virgil’s question back at him.

“Well…” Virgil gazed off into space, thinking about it. “I mean, it’s dangerous here. Would definitely need to figure out some precautions or something. But when you think about it, every life has some danger, right? Not exactly a bad gig being all chummy with a prince. No more minimum wage, no more rent….”

 “R-Right. I could provide everything for you. And, of course, I wouldn’t put you in harm’s way again. And I would be able to keep my only friend…” Roman listed off his own list of things.

“But I mean that’s crazy, right?” Virgil snapped his head back towards Roman, having not really been listening. “I can’t stay here, I- it doesn’t make sense...does it?”

 Roman bit his lip. “Of course, I’m not going to force you to stay.” Roman started off with. “But...you could stay. It’s not so far out of the question.”

“I think I might be going insane.” Virgil pressed at his temples, trying desperately to come to his senses. After all, no sane person would want to stay.

Virgil froze, a sudden realization hitting him. “Am I becoming Patton?”

 Roman’s eyes widened. “No, of course not! I mean…” Roman bit his lip. “It’s different, right? I’m actually treated you like a person. Not a pet, not anymore. Not like Logan.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Virgil remained unconvinced. “But it’s still letting somebody take care of you, liking them because they’re nicer than before...ugh this is such a mess.” Virgil groaned, putting his head on his knees. A few days ago he was so sure of what he wanted. Now he wasn’t even sure if he was brainwashed.

 Roman sighed, and leaned down to be a bit more eye level with the human. “Virgil, I will not hide how much I want you to stay. I want you to stay more than anything but...I refuse to keep you here if that is not what you want or even if you think wanting to stay is unhealthy. Just say the word and both you and Pat will be home. Or say another and...you can stay.”

Virgil looked up to meet the Giant’s gaze. “Thanks Roman.” Virgil said earnestly. “I...I don’t know what I want, but for now I think it’s best we stick to the plan.” At least a sane Virgil had decided going home was the best action. Of course, sane Virgil had also hated Roman’s guts.

 Roman nodded, trying not to show his disappointment. This was Virgil’s choice. “Alright. Then we’ll stick with the plan and after the coronation, you’ll go home.” 

“Right.” Virgil nodded. It was the right thing to do. He would go home to Earth, where he belonged.

So why did that decision leave him feeling so empty inside?

“I...get why Patton’s struggling so much with this now.” Virgil gave a weak chuckle.

 “I’m sorry Virgil. I wish...I wish things hadn’t ended up in such a mess.” Roman sighed.

“Yeah, no I know.” Virgil assured him. Of course, Roman was also incredibly biased, but he was all Virgil had and he was willing to support Virgil’s decision no matter what. That had to count for something.

...unless this was just some long-winded scheme to convince Virgil to stay all along…

Virgil looked up at Roman, smirking. No, it couldn’t be that. Roman wasn’t that smart.

 “Anyway...I think it might be time for bed. What do you think?” Roman asked Virgil.

“Sounds good.” Virgil agreed. The many events of the day had tuckered him out.

 “Are you okay with sleeping in my bed again?” Roman asked as he offered a hand, wanting to make sure.

Virgil nodded, climbing on. “It was fine before.”

 “Just checking.” Roman said, carrying him over to the bed. He set him down and went to the closet to change before climbing into bed. “Goodnight, Virgil.” Roman said, blowing out the last candle.

“...goodnight, Roman.” Virgil replied. He wondered how many times he’d get to say that.

***

Logan knocked softly on his own bedroom door, indicating his arrival before slowly coming in. His face was weary from the toils of the day, but it lit up at the sight of Patton out on his desk. The cage had been pushed to the side, all but forgotten.

“Hello, Patton.” Logan greeted, sitting down. “My apologies for being so late.”

 Patton grinned but behind his smile was sadness for the date they would be seperated was coming ever closer. “It’s okay. You’re here now!” Patton exclaimed. He went over to take a seat closer to Logan. “How are you, uh, holding up with everything?” Patton asked. Logan looked exhausted.

“I am...functioning.” Logan replied. Though the pressure of the throne was indeed quite the burden, the true source of all his worries and aching sat before him. The decision to let Patton go was a heavy one, which weighed upon him throughout the day.

 Patton nodded. “Do you think it will be easier once you actually...are king?” Patton asked. Of course, he wouldn’t be around to see that. Which made Patton sadder.

Logan looked at Patton thoughtfully. “That part remains unclear.” He reached out a hand, wanting to touch Patton as if to affirm he was not yet gone.

Not yet, but soon.

 At the sight of the hand, Patton scooted closer and gave a nod. Wanting the affirming touch as much as Logan did.

Logan let out a sigh of relief, his hand finding it’s familiar position draped around Patton’s form.

“...I’m going to miss you.” Logan admitted softly.

 Patton leaned more into Logan’s hand, turning to bury his face in the closest finger. “Then please let me stay.” Patton asked softly.

“Don’t.” Logan shook his head. “Not tonight. I don’t want to spoil our last evenings together with petty arguing. You need to go and that is final.”

 Patton sighed. “I know.” Patton knew but he still hated it. “I’m sorry.”

“All is forgiven.” Logan smiled, ruffling Patton’s hair slightly. “Now, perhaps we have time for a bit of light reading before we turn in for the night.”

 “That sounds nice.” Patton said, sending Logan a small smile. He hated that they couldn’t spend more time together before he had to go but he would take any time he could get.

“Excellent.” Logan picked Patton up, heading to his bedroom door. He peeked out, checking that the coast was clear before heading towards the library. “What title should we read tonight?”

 Patton thought for a moment. “Well, we never got to finish that one book. The one about the fairies? And that mystery?” Patton said, trying to recall the book. He hoped Logan knew what he was talking about, seeing as how he forgot what it was called.

“Ah, The Lost Button.” Logan nodded, remembering. It was a common fairytale, but Patton always seemed intrigued by the simplest of fiction regardless since he knew none of the old tales. “Perhaps we can finish it.”

 “Yay!” Patton cheered. He had been hoping to finish it at some point. And well...this was his last chance.

Logan perused the shelves, pulling the familiar powdered blue novel from its resting place. He sat down in one of the dark red armchairs in the back corner of the library.

“What page were we on?” Logan murmured. He set Patton up on his shoulder, using his hands to flip through the pages.

 Patton clung to the fabric below him as he stared down at the book. “I think we stopped at chapter 14 last time.” Patton remembered.

“Ah yes, now I remember.” Logan turned to the correct page, reading the story aloud and letting himself get lost in the narrative.

 Patton closed his eyes and got lost in both the story and Logan’s voice. It was nice and quiet, despite being a bit hoarse from exhaustion. Slowly, Patton began to realize that he had long since stopped listening to the story and was focused solely on Logan’s voice.

 He began to realize that this was one of the last times he would ever hear it. Especially in this kind of situation. Before Patton could fully realize it, he was crying softly into his hand.

Logan’s storytelling faded off, hearing the soft sobs coming from his shoulder. “...Patton?”

 “I-I’m sorry, I just-I…” Patton continued to cry. “I...I’m gonna m-miss this.”

Logan stared down at the pages before him, his heart once again aching. “...I will too.” Before Patton, he had only ever read academic pieces. It hardly made sense to keep wasting his time if there was no one to share these moments with.

 Patton wiped his tears away, looking down at the book. “I’m sorry for ruining it…” He had to go and ruin a good moment with his crying, hadn’t he.

“Patton, you’ve ruined nothing.” Logan insisted. “It would hardly be sincere of us to act as though everything were as it once was.”

 “Right…” Patton sighed. “Can we still...still finish it?” Patton asked, hoping it wasn’t too late. It didn’t look like they had too much left anyway.

“Of course.” Logan cleared his throat, trying to make the lump there go away as he started reading once more.

 Again, Patton wasn’t listening much to the story but at least he wasn’t crying anymore. But all too soon, Logan’s voice stopped and Patton opened his eyes to see that Logan had closed the book. “It’s...over? Already?”

“Happily Ever After.” Logan repeated the last phrase with a nod. “That’s usually how such stories end.”

 “Oh, right.” Patton was quick to apply his life on that phrase. Knowing it wasn’t going to be a happily ever after. “I guess it’s...bedtime?” Patton said with a sad sigh. It seemed his time with Logan was just going by faster and faster.

“If you’re tired.” Logan answered, not wanting to keep Patton up. “Of course, if you feel up to it, we could read another story.” Logan knew, logically, that would be a bad plan, but he also knew logically that his hours with Patton were quickly becoming limited. It seemed silly to waste so many precious moments sleeping.

 “...Could we?” Patton asked softly.

“We could.” Logan smiled softly, standing with a certain grace to keep from jostling Patton as he moved back towards the shelves. His fingers ran gently along the spines, trying to find a slimmer novel. They certainly wouldn’t have enough time to finish another book like that before...well, it didn’t need to be said.

“What sort of story should we end on?” Logan asked, never realizing how important choosing a book could become. “A happy story? A peaceful one?”

 “I...I think I need a happy one. One with an equally happy ending…” Patton answered. Why he was torturing himself with something he could not have, he didn’t know. But...he still enjoyed them.

“A happy ending.” Logan murmured. What a strange concept. 

He pulled a thinner green book off the shelves, checking the cover to ensure he had made the correct choice before heading back to the armchair.

 Patton smiled sadly as he looked down at the new book. He was happy for the extra time though.

“I think you will enjoy this one.” Logan explained, looking at the cover briefly before flipping to the first page. “It’s about a boy, Jack, who is a tiny creature that is quite human like as well.”

 Patton blinked for a moment. “Wait, you mean Jack and the Beanstalk?” 

“You know it?” Logan turned back to the cover, trying to remember if he had shown Patton this book. “Have we read this one before?” 

 “N-No but it’s a common fairytale in my world.” Patton explained, looking down at the cover. Sure enough, it was what Patton remembered the cover to look like.

“...oh.” Logan frowned at the piece of literature. That was certainly...odd. Logan had never heard of any mediums that were the same in both his and Patton’s world. What could that possibly mean? It was quite a strange coincidence. “Well, in that case, perhaps we should choose another story, rather than something you know.”

 “No! I-I want to read this one. Please?” He wanted to see if it was exactly the same. Besides, in a way, he could kind of relate to the story. Kind of.

“Very well then.” Logan opened the book once more and began to read.

 As Patton listened, it did seem like this one was similar to his worlds version. Until they got to the giant part. Instead of the man-eating giant like he was used to in the story, the giant was just another regular person. Which, he looked at Logan, if this version was made by giants, he supposed that made sense.

Logan continued the tale, following Jack as he stole the three golden treasures. Upon the third theft the giant chased after him, but Jack cut down the beanstalk to trap the giant in the clouds.

“Then Jack and his mother prospered with their newfound riches for the rest of their days.” Logan wrapped up the story. “There was rejoicing throughout the land, the beanstalk was gone, and they lived happily ever after.”

 “It’s a little different in my world.” Patton admitted. “But mostly the same.”

“How does your version differ?” Logan asked.

 “Uh, well…” Should he tell Logan? “In, um, our version the giant...eats humans…” He said the last part a bit quieter, looking away.

“What?” Logan looked appalled at this notion, turning to view Patton on his shoulder in horror. “That’s positively barbaric! Why would you write such a tale?”

 “I didn't write it!” Patton exclaimed. “And uh...now that I think about it, a lot of stuff involving giants had them eating humans…” That was certainly...strange, now that Patton thought about it.

“That is truly horrible.” Logan gagged at the thought. He certainly could never imagine trying to use Patton for sustenance.

 “Yeah...but uh...that was one of the reasons I was so scared when I first got here.” Patton chuckled a bit. “I actually thought one of you was going to eat me.” It wasn’t funny at the time but Patton found he could kind of laugh at it now. After all, he knew that to be very very false.

On the other hand, Logan was far from amused. “Patton, my sincerest apologies.” He murmured, a foul taste still present on his tongue from the matter at hand. “If I had only known I could have alleviated your worries much sooner.” The idea of Patton being afraid of him in such a way left Logan’s stomach in a knot.

 “Oh, no it’s okay. By the time I was given to you, I knew giants weren’t gonna eat me.” Patton said. No, he just thought they were going to kill him. After all, they were going to feed him to the dogs before Logan took him.

“Regardless, the knowledge might have helped.” Logan thought back on those first few days with a wince. “I would have done anything to make you less afraid.”

 “Honestly? I think anything you would have tried wouldn’t have worked…” Patton rubbed the back of his neck. It was why it had taken around a month for any progress to have been made.

“...Right.” Of course Patton was correct. It was one of the many reasons that Patton had to return to his own world.

“Patton, what would you have done in my position?” Logan asked, genuinely curious.

 Patton blinked. Well, that was...an unexpected question. “I...I don’t know.” He admitted honestly. “As of right now, I would have let them go right away. But...before…” Patton wanted to think he would be good and listen but he could never be sure.

“Before?” Logan tilted his head. “Before what?”

 “Before...all this happened to me...I’m not sure what I would have done if I found someone tiny. It’s...hard to tell after my own experiences.” Patton explained.

“Ah, because you would feel empathetic.” Logan nodded in understanding.

 “Yeah…” Patton agreed. Patton thought for a moment. “How would you feel if you were in...my place?” Patton couldn’t help but ask.

“Ripped from my world and taken to another, larger in scale?” Logan clarified. “Would it be myself as I am today or before I met you?”

 Patton hummed in thought. “...Both? Like uh...would you react differently?”

“Well, I suppose they would be much the same.” Logan admitted. “I would be quite...off put. Overwhelmed, frustrated, hesitant. From there it would depend on what sort of individual I ended up with; I suppose that must be the worst part of it, isn’t it? The fact that you have no say in your own placement within the world. You are at our mercy in terms of your experiences, aren’t you Patton?”

 Patton just nodded. “That’s...exactly how I used to feel. Still do...sometimes.” Patton admitted.

Logan nodded sympathetically. “I think that would be my least favorite part of the ordeal. I enjoy being in control of my own fate.”

 “So did I…” Patton spoke, eyebrows furrowing. “But as...as time went on...not being in control was kind of...nice?” Patton rubbed the back of his head.

Logan’s gaze showed his confusion. “How so?”

 “Well…” Patton sighed. “I don’t know. It was just nice to not have to worry so much about messing up when everyone was telling me what to do.” Patton shrugged.

“Ah, I see.” Logan looked thoughtfully off into the distance. “I can certainly see the appeal of having a weight off your shoulders.”

 Patton nodded. “...Why did you save me that day?” Patton asked out of the blue. But the question had been nagging at him for quite some time.

Logan blinked, surprised at the question. “Where did that come from?”

 Patton looked away. “It’s been on my mind since it happened, I just...never asked it out loud. I just don’t really get it. No one else cared about me. They were going to feed me to the dogs after all...So why did you care enough to save me?”

----------------------------------

FLASHBACK MODE

----------------------------------

Logan sat with his back straight against the wood, trying to appear as regal as his father who sat in the great throne to Logan’s left. Logan sat in a similarly fashioned throne, although it was less ornate and shorter in stature: fit for a crown prince.

“Your excellency!” A shout from the hall caught both members of the royal family’s attention. The royal sorcerer came skidding into the throne room, looking uncharacteristically giddy.  In his arms was what looked to be a container covered in a sheet of velvet fabric. “The portal scry was impeccable! I have seen wonderous lands beyond our own, filled with all sorts of peculiar specimens. And, as a symbol of my humble gratitude for continuing to fund such an essential and beneficial portion of my research-” This declaration was accompanied by a deep bow- “I have brought one such specimen before you today for your pleasure, to entertain as you see fit. Behold!” With this, Dee dramatically whirled the velvet cloth away, making it disappear with a snap of his fingers.

 Patton’s eyes blinked at the return of light and then widened when he saw where he was. A giant throne room. Straight out of a fairy tale. The giant who had captured him was behind him, holding his cage high for two new giants to gawk at him. Patton scooted back a smidge but couldn’t really do anything about being surrounded on all sides.

 His ribs still hurt from when he was grabbed up and there were still tear tracks stained on his face from earlier. And as he watched these new giants, the tears began to return.

 The king perked up slightly as Dee revealed the being in the cage. “What...is that?” Now he was intrigued.

“This, your majesty, is a rarity most closely resembling the ancient mythical creature known simply as... the human.” Dee brought the cage closer, making sure to hold it high so that the King could clearly see the cowering form inside. “Born with our form but cursed to remain a miniscule size, these creatures are meant to look upon us as their masters. An entire race of servants that have been hiding in the realm beneath ours.”

Logan looked at the creature trembling behind the cage bars. It certainly didn’t appear to be an ideal servant. Surely the simplest of tasks would prove fatal for such a twig.

 “Fascinating.” The king leaned forward more, staring intently at the tiny human creature. Patton whimpered, scooting back more even if that only put him closer to Dee. 

 “And you say there are more of these creatures?” The king asked.

“An entire realm of them.” Dee grinned maliciously. “Right now my scrying powers are all but depleted, but given enough of your fabulous resources, my liege, I can acquire a large collection of these for your amusement. And, should you be so generous, if I were to be granted a few specimens of my own, I could advance my- our- knowledge of these creatures to determine how to make them bend most effectively to my- your!- will.” 

“It seems more fitting for this being to be used for recreation rather than utility.” Logan observed, raising a doubting eyebrow.

Dee’s grin fell slightly. “Well, it is indeed possible that our legends are a bit...exaggerated. But whether or not these miniscule pets are capable of assisting the throne, certainly they can be taught to bow down before the illustrious king and find pleasure in exalting your greatness as does every other conscious being within the four corners of this beloved kingdom.”

 “Yes, quite.” The king smirked. Soaking in all the praise. “How long have you had this one for? Can it do such a thing yet?” The king wondered.

 Patton shook. He didn’t like any of this talk. How they were treating him and other humans as...as pets or slaves. Patton could barely believe this was even happening.

“Hardly an hour, my lord.” The sorcerer explained. “It was a fairly simple matter of extracting the screaming creature from its homeworld-” Dee cringed in memory, his ears still ringing- “before I prepared it to be brought before you on humbled knee. Though I have yet to train this specimen, I am certain that between the two of us it will quickly learn to happily kneel before your radiance as well.”

 “Yes, I do believe so.” The king grinned. He then stood from his throne. “Shall we do a bit of...training right now? I must say, I am quite curious to see just what this being can do.” He leaned in close, face practically against the bars and Patton yelped, cowering in fright. 

 No, no, no! Please get away, please! Tears started running down his cheeks again. He just wanted this all the be a dream, but the throbbing pain of his body begged to differ.

Logan froze, feeling an unfamiliar aching in his chest as he watched the being tremble in fear. Logan frowned at the sensation. Why did he feel this way? What was this? For a moment Logan almost felt as though he should stop these events from happening, but he shook his head. What a silly notion. Even if he had such urges, his father’s word was law. The King was welcome to do whatever he pleased with this new discovery.

“Yes, we can get started right away.” Dee’s own grin stretched from ear to ear. “Right this way~” The sorcerer gave a large swooping motion with his arm and guided the King out of the throne room, leaving Logan alone.

The crown prince drummed his fingers on the arm of his chair. It was, after all, only a human. 

Even if something occurred, it would certainly not mean the end of the world. With time Dee would be able to acquire another one to continue his and father’s training and research. If the human were to perish, only his father, Dee and Logan himself would even know the being existed in the first place. A single life given to the pursuit of magic and imperialization.

Despite all of this Logical thinking, Logan didn’t feel any better as the next few days passed. That was the strangest part of this: the feelings. Logan did not get feelings. In his mind, they were a disease that hindered a good leader’s mind. Strategic decisions were harder to make when one felt guilt or sympathy.

Sympathy. Was that what this was? Or Guilt? But why should Logan feel guilty? He certainly wasn’t the one torturing the poor creature in the name of discovery. And even if Logan did feel that these actions were unjust, it was not as though he could do anything to stop them; not until he became king, but that likely would not be for several years to come.

Logan picked idly at his dinner, more so pushing his salad around rather than consuming it. He could not get the tiny person’s face out of his head. Those distraught eyes haunted him in the night, forcing the prince to lay awake deep into the twilight hours. Yet when he passed father in the halls, the king looked as though he gained a full night’s rest. Why? Why was Logan the only one cursed to care about this creature’s life?

These thoughts continued to plague him, up until he next saw the human. It was dangling in a cage, attached to a stand that stood between his own throne and father’s. The human looked even more sad and pathetic than before, and as Logan peered at it he could see clear markings of injuries left during the sessions of ‘training’. 

 Patton kept his head down, trying his best to ignore the giants around him and the pain coursing through his body. Training had been...torture. He just wanted to be home, resting in his own bed, maybe watching some netflix. Or better yet, baking some yummy cookies. Tears slipped down Patton’s cheeks as he thought about home. Would he ever get to go back?

 The king nodded to Logan as he came in before turning back to Dee. “This thing is taking too much time to train,” The king complained.

Logan slowly took his seat at his own throne, peering in at the cage. At this height, It was actually perfectly at eye level, and Logan had a perfect view of the human. He almost wished he didn’t; the thing looked miserable.

“Your highness, it’s only been a handful of days!” Dee smiled at the King, before sending a snarl in the direction of the cage. “Every creature can be broken eventually, no matter how stubborn.”

 “Well, at this point I’d much rather throw him to the dogs. At least the thing can be useful as dog food.” The king commented. 

 Patton gasped at that, head snapping up in the king’s direction. He couldn’t be...but his face held no other expression than complete boredom. “N-No…” Patton whimpered quietly, shaking even more as he placed his head in his hands. 

Logan and Dee both looked appalled by the suggestion as well.

“Your highness, let’s not be so hasty!” Dee gave a hesitant laugh, looking almost nervous. “Surely you know such a valuable specimen is too precious to be thrown to the dogs. Allow me to study it, I guarantee you you’ll be pleased with the results.”

Logan frowned at the occupant of the cage. Did it just...speak? Was Logan imagining things? Had it spoken to Dee or father before? Logan found himself desperately curious for answers, but those answers would never come if this human ended up as dog food or a lab rat.

“Father, may I have it?” Logan asked, turning his gaze to the king. He found his heart was pounding, fearing that his plan might yet fail and this creature would suffer more. It may just be a human life, but it was a life all the same.

“You?” Dee said incredulously. “And what do you plan to do with it?”

 The king waved his hand towards Logan. “You know what? Go ahead, Logan. You may have it.” The king decided.

 Patton’s eyes widened and he lifted his head up again to look at the giant. Logan. Wh-What? So he wasn’t getting thrown to the dogs? Was being with Logan better? Or...would the torture continue…

“But, your highness-!” Dee’s whining was cut off by an interruption from Logan.

“Father, as I recall, as king your word is law.” Logan pushed up his spectacles. “To question such a decision would be treason, would it not?”

“...of course it would.” Dee’s reply was muttered through gritted teeth. 

 The king gave a firm nod, looking at Dee. “...I also don’t want to see anymore of these things running around. They seem to be nothing more than a waste of time and space.” The king glared at the cage holding the human. Patton shivered and curled in on himself once again. The king huffed. “Your magic can be put to much better use.”

Dee’s jaw dropped. “Sire! Surely you do not mean this!”

“Questioning twice in one session?” Logan hummed. 

 “Yes, Dee, are you questioning my authority?” The king asked, narrowing his eyes.

Dee looked ready to spill royal blood on the throne room floor, bowing low and plastering on a smile that appeared to be more of a grimace. “Of course not, your majesty.”

 “Good.” The king said and then turned his attention to his son. “Take the creature away and do what you want with him. But...keep me updated. On the major things.” They might not be worth it in the long run with how much time it takes to train them but he still found himself curious at the end result.

“Of course, Father.” Logan nodded in respect, standing up and unlatching the cage.

“If you need any assistance, I can offer my vast human expertise!” Dee called after him, sounding a bit desperate to have any interaction with the human as he watched his discovery leave the throne room.

“That won’t be necessary.” Logan called over his shoulder.

 “Enough Dee. If Logan does not wish for your help, you will leave him and his human alone.” The king said. “Now leave, I have some work to attend to.” He shooed Dee away.

 Patton moved to the farthest corner away from the giant prince. He couldn’t understand why Logan had saved him from death by dogs...did this giant care? Or was it just because he found him fascinating like Dee did.

 ...It was probably the latter…

 Patton didn’t want to get hurt again.

Logan looked down at the cowering human, wincing at the way it looked. Logan stared straight ahead instead as he walked. Should he say something to it? Try to comfort the creature? The idea felt a bit silly, but all the same...it had spoken. Logan was sure of it.

“It’s alright.” Logan finally spoke, still focused ahead as he navigated into his bedroom. “You’re safe now. I promise.”

---------------------------------

End of flashback

---------------------------------

 Patton frowned when Logan became quiet. “Logan?”

Logan looked at Patton as though just noticing the human was there. “My apologies, I was lost in my thoughts.”

 Patton shifted a little on Logan’s shoulder and smiled. “It’s okay but uh...you never answered my question.”

“Right.” Logan nodded. “I suppose.... Well, I felt sympathetic to your plight.”

 “Oh?” Patton titled his head. “Well...I’m glad you did. Your father and Dee sure didn’t…” Patton stared off sadly.

Logan lifted his hand, gently rubbing his finger along Patton’s side. He gave a tense sigh. “I know. I only wish I had thought to save you sooner.”

 Patton turned to hug the finger. “It’s...okay.” Patton wished that too but there was no changing the past. “I’m okay now. That’s all that matters.”

Logan gave a slow nod. Patton’s safety now was all that mattered; and that’s why he couldn’t stay so attached to the little human.

“It’s late.” Logan observed, standing up. “We should head to bed.”

 Patton deflated a bit but nodded. It was getting pretty late. “Okay.”

Carefully Logan returned the books to their proper spots on the shelves, leaving no trace of his presence. He shuffled back down the halls, already hiding a yawn behind his hand. With a grimace Logan noted the beginnings of the morning sun peeking over the horizon; perhaps he would not be gaining much sleep after all. 

 Patton noticed the sun as well and he winced. “Whoops.” He wanted to spend as much time as he could with Logan but he also knew Logan needed sleep. “Sorry.”

“It’s quite alright.” Logan assured him, settling into bed to try and gain the brief hour or two before he would be needed. “I was the one who suggested it.”

 “I know but I know much you need sleep.” Patton said, settling down on Logan’s chest.

“A few sleepless nights won’t do me any long term harm.” Logan reasoned, closing his eyes and settling his hand over Patton.

 Patton hummed, eyes already starting to close. He supposed it wouldn’t. “Goodnight, Lo.”

Logan smirked, amused at the notion of night when the sunlight was already streaming in. “Goodnight, Pat.”

[lavenderek]

fwiw i’m an A*3 volunteer - i do tag wrangling, actually - and i really do need to emphasise the fact that we are VOLUNTEERS, and there’s really nothing we can do when it comes to bigger issues re: the core of how the site runs and the values people feel it holds.

what i am really tired of is people assuming things about me because i’m a volunteer. people can be so ridiculously vitriolic - like that anon you got who was immediately at you like ‘SO YOU’RE FINE WITH CHILD ABUSE?’ is a perfect example of what i mean. no, i’m not, but i honestly do appreciate a rare space online that is *relatively* unmoderated - which is NOT to say it isn’t completely unmoderated. like you said, there are so many cultural aspects to even simple tags, and as a tag wrangler, you’re ‘trained’ on that. that’s just tag wrangling - i’m sure higher up volunteer positions also take the time and care to educate volunteers correctly on how to manage their roles.

again, though, there is fundamentally very little us volunteers can do for parts people might disagree with. we come from all walks of life and there are so many roles and we all only have so much time. fact is, the website is the way it and it’s unlikely to change beyond perhaps adding more ‘social media’ type functions, like blocking people. if you feel that there is content that is inappropriate or commenters that are inappropriate or whatever, you can report it directly to the people running the website (which i’ve personally done before for an extreme underage fic about a real life - albeit of-age - person), and i obviously didn’t check back to see if it had been removed, but i assume it was dealt with because i genuinely do have faith in the moderators. anyway, just some insight as someone who works with the site.

hey! thanks for the info actually this is really interesting. sorry about the delayed response, i saved it as a draft to come back to it later and then i got busy at work and forgot

while you're here, you mind if i ask you some questions? feel free not to answer, you're not obligated

i separated it into sections because i’m what? longwinded and easily confused

1. can this happen (has questions for you in it)

it's my understanding that the big uproar vis a vis CP fic on a*3 is more that a*3 is inadvertently creating a space where p*dophiles feel safe and can establish a following, in turn allowing them to normalize what they're doing and gain access to potential victims.

tldr, it's less "this is inappropriate" and more "the person who made this is dangerous." like, if the person who wrote that nasty fic you reported had a whole profile full of similar content and was gaining a following from it, that would be concerning.

is the overall effect a user has something that you all take into account when you're going through content on the site, or are you instructed to take the specific piece of content at face value?

and, do you think that's something it's possible to address by moderators? regardless of whether or not it’ll actually happen, do you think that is possible on this system?

and, even more optional than the other questions, if that was possible, what do you think that would look like? 

2. what is the process like on your end (has questions for you in it)

just for my own curiosity, how much leeway do you as a volunteer have over whether a fic should be reported? 

is it up to your own judgment or is there like a rubric or something? 

and what happens if the moderators decide that yeah, this fic can't be up anymore, do they remove the fic or kill the user's profile or what?

what happens if you report something, and the moderators decide it’s fine? does that reflect on you in their eyes? 

how often do you report fic? 

3. clarification of motive (does not have questions for you in it, now i’m just talking)

like i hear you that you, personally, Anon J. Wranglerton, don't have control over the site itself. the topic of CP and abuse is touchy and wigs people out because it sort of self perpetuates.

it's like that anecdote that went viral a few years ago where a bartender explained that allowing one polite n*zi into the bar leads very quickly into lots of n*zis being in the bar. people want the n*zis removed from the bar. 

i'm sorry people accuse you of being an abuse apologist because of that, i think the idea that people wouldn't really see abuse as a concern is like, actually horrifying to them lmao and i can't necessarily blame them for that in and of itself

4. if i see where they’re coming from then what’s my problem (does not have questions for you in it, now i’m just talking)

i guess i don't share that reaction because disgusting content online isn't anything new for me. i accidentally came across it all the time when i was a kid going online. i nearly fell victim to an actual predator when i was 12 or 13. thankfully, once he asked me for more personal information i was able to get scared and see some red flags. (or if he wasn’t a predator then i should probably go and find my chat room boyfriend Oukami who explained “yiffing” to me and told me to send him pictures of myself so he could make me a wolf fursona)

from my perspective, the a*3 debate looks like this: predators are a concept that is deeply embedded in every corner of the internet, and very suddenly, people are very up in arms about a very specific website having predators on it. it’s like if all of a sudden people were like, “there are customers at Target who yell at the employees. if you still shop at Target, unfollow me.” 

like, yeah, you’re right, and that’s bad, but why Target specifically, and why now, you know? 

i think predators should be made to feel extremely unsafe in fandom spaces lmao, but i also think that’s something that can only be tackled socially. playing whack-a-mole with predators is a tale as old as time.

5. online predators (does not have questions for you in it, now i’m just talking)

this is just me talking out of my ass, but my theory is that a huge component in kids today getting caught up by predators online is that the concept of anonymity and fear of strangers online has some holes in it on here.

first of all, people just a couple years younger than i am grew up on social media. that was the entire online landscape ever since myspace.

influencers use their real names and faces, and they have millions of followers and are treated like celebrities. a lot of these social networks make it extremely difficult to hide your identity at all. you sign in to youtube with your google account, which is linked to your phone and all your other accounts. instagram, twitter, facebook, and tumblr can all be connected, and a few of those apps encourage it and will interrupt you posting to be like “do you want to also put this on twitter, Firstname Lastname?” no, janet, i’m good. thank you though

this lends a certain amount of freedom to predators, because there is nothing stopping them from assessing somebody’s vulnerability and reaching out to them. 

6. online predators in fandom spaces specifically (does not have questions for you in it, now i’m just talking)

i think the fandom space cultivated on tumblr has actively contributed to that. 

look at all these blogs, they’ve got “about me” descriptions with their name, their age, a blurb about their interests, their gender identity, their romantic/sexual preferences, sometimes their fuckin myers-briggs designation. this is all expected behavior on tumblr. 

it starts as a sort of “this is my blog, here’s what i’m about,” and is compounded by like, “NTs can reblog this post but don’t say anything stupid,” or “minors DNI, how old are you,” like, you have to kind of verify that you’re “allowed,” in a sense, to participate in some conversations or interact with some posts. 

i think there’s merit in both of those things, blogs are for self expression and for interacting with likeminded users; and i don’t think it’s “gatekeeping” to stop straighties from clowning on your post about queer issues. 

but this has inadvertently created a sort of entitlement to private information. it also creates this false idea that because you and i have x and y in common, we can interact comfortably. 

it’s crucial to remember that predators aren’t all scary white men who want to visit you at home. some of them are cool 20-somethings who just happen to be normalizing sexual content with children in it. and they genuinely don’t see what they’re doing as wrong. if they’re already your friend, and you see them saying shit about how they’re not hurting anybody, it’s just pretend, it’s just a kink, then you’re probably going to sympathize with them. 

this isn’t to say, “stupid kids, they’re bringing this on themselves by oversharing to the wrong people,” because it’s neither kids’ fault nor unique to children. this kind of oversharing is taking place with all ages and kinds of people on tumblr. 

this is to say, this is what this particular subculture has caused: healthy boundaries are kind of bulldozed to make room for a kind of disorganized sense of community and morality.

7. back to CP on a*3 (does not have questions for you in it, now i’m just talking)

i think this kind of “CP is disgusting and you’re disgusting for looking at it” shit is dangerous. 

things this is NOT because of: 

CP deserves a place online

It’s A Slippery Slope, What Will They Ban Next

um, kinkshaming

there is no point in even trying to get predators off a*3

i just think it’s completely unhelpful. it’s literally a waste of their time. they’re wasting their time and hurting themselves and others in the process. it’s lacking in nuance and perspective. 

what we should be saying is “CP is a red flag. CP tells you something about the person posting it.” 

we shouldn’t be asking “are you okay with child abuse,” we should be asking, “what does this content say about the person posting it? are they unsafe to have around? if i realize too late that they’re unsafe, who can i turn to?” those are the kinds of questions we should be asking if our goal really is to protect people.

what the collection of block lists of supposed abuse apologists says is this: “you have to choose between not having to police online behavior, and proving your morals to me, a complete fucking stranger. if your morals are lacking, you’re out, we don’t speak to you anymore, and we tell everyone who will listen that you are a bad person.” 

not to delegitimize their concerns, but it’s fully just mccarthyism. like... that’s what mccarthyism was like. the fact that mccarthyism was bad isn’t even the point, it’s important to recall that mccarthyism did not work. it stopped happening for myriad reasons, one of which was that it was hurting people and wasting resources and doing absolutely nothing else. 

i obviously don’t want to be labeled “anti-american pinko scum” and fired from my job and disallowed from my neighbor’s house. who would? they’re not actually weeding out anybody dangerous, they’re just rounding people up who are just as angry as they are or who are scared of them lmfao. 

ever since that shitty post of mine went viral (which - “viral,” i guarantee it isn’t viral, i stopped looking at it literally that night) i’ve been terrified that one of these days i’m gonna like, comment on something and have the OP be like “wait a minute, you’re that bitch who made fun of some anti-a*3 people, unfollow me” lmfao. like, that’s what this rhetoric is accomplishing. 

i’m not boohooing, i deserved a slap on the wrist for making rude comments. i’m just telling you the extent of the results they’re getting. they made me feel sad. so at least there’s that. 

8. anti-a*3 people (has questions for anyone in it)

“fine, so we’re not trying to evangelize for not liking CP. so what? we don’t want people who like CP around. supporting that stuff is disgusting. we are blocking them for our own safety and don’t appreciate the tone police coming in and telling us it’s no big deal.” - an anti a*3 person, probably

yeah i mean, i get that. if i was really upset about something important and somebody told me “you’re right, but shut up about it,” i would also be pissed. 

my question, though, is this: is the underage tag on a*3 the limit we want to place on our activism against predators online? at minimum, is yelling at and blocking people about it on tumblr making us feel safer?

and also: how are we going to define the things we are trying to get rid of? what is underage? how do we account for differences in culture? how do we account for nuance when we make broad judgments? 

and also: who do we really hold responsible for this? who do we think is at fault and what do we want them to do?

i feel like we could all benefit from some perspective here.

9. back to you (has questions for you in it)

so like, is it fun? how’d you get the position? how long do you work typically?

do you talk directly with higher-ups or whatever? do you have coworkers?

do you have to read through lots of fic yourself or does stuff get reported to you and then you look at it? 

what other stuff do you report content for, aside from abusive content? like i read a post saying people shouldn’t be advertising their paypal or whatever on their a*3, do you nip stuff like that in the bud or is that something else? 

what if it’s just mistagged, presumably by human error not by a legitimate abuse of the system, what do you do? do you tag it for them or do you reach out to them and tell them to fix it or what?

who decided on the color scheme? can there be a skin that’s orange and avocado green? can you pass that on for whoever does the colors? i think i’d spend more time on any particular website if the color scheme was a nice, desaturated orange and avocado green.

nice

[goldinavonlea]

WHERE do I even BEGIN?????

gonna put it under a cut because i have. lots of thoughts

I’m only going to do a rough take now and I’ll get pretty and clever with it later but the centrality of family to this episode but the specific way family was framed as a concept and what that means... exceptional. Truly, stunningly beautiful.

When Anne asks Ka’kwet the word for family, she explains that in Míkmawísimk, the term they use means ‘people I am connected to because we’re alike’ (which... just need to take a pause to say what an incredibly beautiful piece of language and—since language has such a profound affect on how we look at our existances—what an incredibly beautiful way of seeing it).

I felt like that formed the real thematic backbone of the episode: family not being nearly as simple as blood or something you’re born into, but something that can be fostered and created, something that can be found, which considering Anne’s history and the jounery she’s going on, is so incredibly beautiful and important.

I felt that the entire episode was giving us example of example of these bonds—these relationships of family through connection and similarity. The way Ka’kwet explained family really chimed for me with how Anne sees Kindred Spirits (which makes sense, since ‘kin’ is a term for family!), which is just one example of how Anne and Ka’kwet are immediately drawn to one-another, immediately alike in many ways and so there’s this instantaneous sense of family there.

I love that Anne was having a bit of a giggle over Matthew and Marilla’s similarities over dinner, but there’s an a slight undertone to it—she’s looking at the ways they are evidently family in a manner which doesn’t neccessarily include her. But there are so many ways in which the episode also makes her similarities to them—the ways in which she is so absolutely connected to them through likeness and in family—clear. I mean just watching Matthew and Marilla being absolute muppets to surprise her with that cake—Matthew with his book upside-down, Marilla straight up giggling to herself. They’ve taken in so much of her levity, her mischief and joy: they’ve become more like her, they’ve learned from loving her and changed in the process of becoming a family.

The same with Diana!! With her whole prank to get Anne over for the birthday tea—I mean can you imagine the Diana we first met in season one, who decalred herself to be lacking in imagination and who was so constrained by propriety, getting up to such hijinks? Purposefully yanking her neat hair out of its ribbon (about which I have two points: first, Di’s hair looked absolutely glorious down like that, she’s looking vital and lively and stunning this season; and second, the parallels of Di pulling her hair out to prank Anne, Anne loosing her ribbon and shaking her hair out on the horse, and Ka’kwet taking out her own hair ties she’d made to trade with Anne. Again, parallels are similarities, and similarity means kindred!)

NOT TO MENTION our girl kicking off at her parents about Queens using words like ‘supercede’, demanding her right to an education, slamming furiously away at her piano when she’s dismissed? God I have never been prouder in all my days, but again—she’s grown so much fire since meeting Anne, so much spirit and determination through knowing her. They are alike. They are family.

And with the girls from school in a wider sense too—there’s so much more ease there, a sense of unity and belonging and knowing of each other that lends a fluidity and familiarity to their interactions as a group which was frankly delightful to see (plus: Jane and Tilly both already have me cracking up this season which is wonderful because more of those two was something I really wanted to see). There’s no hostility there now, really—just soft-worn treads of exasperation and bickering which feels deeply familiar. They share the same stories, the same jokes. They have a Togetherness.

Mary and Bash were just... a fucking delight. A true joy. And again! The unity! The way they laugh together, share lines of thought, share such a sense of spirit and cheekiness. And of course they share an Actual Baby now which I will come back to I promise because that deserves space of its own.

And... look. Anne and Gil. If family, if kindred, is something made of things shared, of the ways people are the same, then one really can’t have enough of a giggle over the fact that they both, in the space of one episode, managed to have a moment of Putting Themselves Out There to the other only to be SPECTACULARLY shot down by the absolute MISSILE of the other being a complete fucking idiot. Like, to steal from Josie’s ‘too close to the sun’ comment to Moody (who remains, as ever, a Mood and a half), Anne and Gil each performed a truly impressive Icarus moment in the others’ presence this ep. Gilbert was Full On, Pedal to the Metal making allusions to their Future and Courtship and Marriage (he actually honest to god used the word Future in that conversation bless him, just bless his heart) and Anne just fires off a zeplin-felling, building-flattening rocket launcher of ‘you should really get on with it with Ruby’. And his whole 360 from being Absolutely Prepared to get in on this take notice thing, practically had Anne’s name written out already, to the screeching halt of Disaster Teen like ‘yeah I’m not really a take-notice kind of guy’ god I’m loving getting to see them just be Deeply Stupid Adolescents it’s... so enjoyable.

AND ANNE! Anne Shirley-Cuthbert! Madame! Was fully flashing back to Marilla’s ‘when someone loves you, then you’ll be kissed’ guidance because clearly her brain started to kick into gear when Ruby went off about the romance in his eyes and she just went ‘whelp the only possible way to get to the bottom of this is to corner him, give him a good Staring At, and see if he plants one on me’. Christ she’s iconic, just the monumental, fearless idiocy of that. I mean I’d thought a lot about what barriers there might be in place between Anne and Gilbert assuming from promo materials that they both had to be cottoning on at least a little bit to their feelings, and most of my thoughts were deeply angsty, but I didn’t at any point consider the most simple, the most obvious, the most hysterical answer which is that they’re just both absolute morons about this shit. Gilbert definitely being the greater moron though I mean ‘See ya’ YOU FOOL? YOU FOOL SHE CORNERED YOU ALONE TO BLINK AT YOU AND LEAN INTO YOUR SPACE YOU WERE PRACTICALLY READY TO PROPOSE JUST HOURS BEFORE WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK IS HAPPENING HERE?

Anyway how that ties into my original point on family/kindredness is that Anne and Gilbert are both precisely the same tone of Very Smart Person Who Is Also Catastrophically Stupid At Inopportune Moments and that’s why they’re kindred.

God he asked her if she’d forgotten what she was going to say, the pain I will feel until the end of my days that Bash was not there to witness that moment and tear literal shreds out of Gilbert for it it’s an honest to god tragedy.

which, coming back to our fave married couple because did i not promise???

the baby. THE BABY!!! Bash and Mary have a BABY they have a DAUGHTER her name is DELPHINE and Bash speaks to her in RIDICULOUS VOICES and apparently gets JEALOUS that he couldn’t help FEED HER! Mary carries her on her back and hangs out with Marilla thrice weekly (because Marilla wants baby cuddles) and Bash and Mary cooing over their beautiful daughter?? being desperately in love and so happy? i could scream i could SCREAM

Just the whole dynamic of the Lacroix-Blythe familiar unit broke into my home stole my heart out of my chest and I’m not even mad about it. Gilbert teasing Mary about bossing them about like their old boss on the steamer? the two of them sharing a What a Loveable Idiot Look re: Bash when Bash won’t stop talking to Delphine in weird voices? The ease and comfort with which they all exist in that space that was so sad before? and is now alight with joy and family? Gilbert kissing Delphine’s head and saying goodbye to her before he leaves for the day and mercilessly ribbing Bash on his way out? I’m gonna rewatch it I’m gonna rewatch that scene and literally if anything happens to this family I will scream I’ll SCREAM they’ve all been through enough they all deserve joy.

anyway it’s 3:00am and I’ve descended into nonsense so I’ll be back with a more thought out post (broken up into several because this is long as hell) when I’ve slept but in conclusion I love everyone (except, as ever, Billy Andrews) and I’m so so so happy to have this blessed show back in my life

[comphersjost]

sugar daddy ➸ morgan rielly hcs!

listen this is all i’ve been thinking about all day okay i need this in my life i just want a sugar daddy mo in my life please

find my masterlist here

okay so listen

you’re probably like a photographer or something in media for the leafs

running around making sure the boys get places on time

interviews, shoots, the fucking plane, everything

and you’re really young, yk, you’re maybe 20 or so

and accelerating your education seemed like a good idea

but now you’ve got a ton of debt

so you get a job at the starbucks near your shitty apartment

you have to make ends meet right?

and its so exhausting, running around and often working 8 or more hours at each job

but you have to put on a smile for the boys and for the customers and for your bosses at both jobs

but it’s definitely taking its toll because you’re just so tired all the time

but it’s a good thing you work at a coffee shop isnt it?

morgan likes to walk around random parts of the city when he’s stressed

and hes totally been trying to work up the courage for a while to just talk to you and to get to know you fr

he’s just so fucking attracted to this young, smart, funny, and kind photographer that’s somehow responsible for team of actual children

it’s after a game and a tough loss that he comes in

it’s like 1:53 am when he walks into this starbucks on the opposite side of toronto from where his giant ass condo is

and he sees you

no, not like, oh hey you happen to be here at the same time as me,

but he sees you as in you’re coming from the back room, re-tying your apron behind you

and just like that you’re back to running around and doing too many things at once, just like how you are at the arena

somehow even at almost 2 am, your store is pretty busy

so when the next person in line steps up and you make eye contact with him you almost choke

and mo’s eyes widen and he opens and closes his mouth a few times

“hi what can i get you?” you squeak before he can say anything stupid

he def is hesitant giving you his order but does it anyways and is kind of shocked when you ask for his name for the order

you dont make eye contact while you make the drink, making sure to just call out his name when it’s ready and go back to running around

and he’s about to ask to talk to you when you suddenly straighten up and tell your shift “i’m gonna go restock the back” and you’re gone again

you probably avoid morgan for a few days, maybe a couple weeks even, after that

he ends up cornering you in your office when you’re editing pictures or something after practice

“why? why didn’t you tell me?”

you sigh, having expected this conversation since you saw him

“because it’s not relevant to any conversation we’ve had.”

“relevant? of course it’s relevant!” he throws his hands up, “we’re a team, a family, and you shouldn’t have to work 2 jobs!”

“well some of us don’t make millions of dollars a year morgan!” you finally snap at him “some of us have to work 16 hours a day to make ends meet! and even then we’re still barely living paycheck to paycheck!”

he recoils at your words, because he never though about the fact that the leafs organization might not be paying you enough to get you through your debts and bills

“let me help”

you almost choke when he says that

“no. absolutely not. i’m not a child nor am i a charity case okay? i’ve been on my own for a long time.”

he doesnt give up, and continues to press you until you kick him out of your office

after that things with morgan get a little...flirtier you could say

his touch is lingering

he’s making eye contact with you across the room and not looking away

but he’s also very publicly inviting you out with the team, watching your squirm while you have to come up with a lie every time as to why you couldn’t

and not to mention game days

holy shit he comes in wearing his game day suit and maintains eye contact with you the whole time

walk walk fashion baby

it’s only a matter of time before you cave, he thinks

and he’s right

it’s about a month later that you’re at some gala for the team

and thank god the leafs organization payed for your shit because this dress and these heels would’ve used up two entire paychecks

and morgan’s shamelessly flirting with you that night, touching you along your back and your arms and letting his hand rest on your thigh when you’re seated

it isn’t long before he has you bent over the hood of his expensive ass sports car

and for a second you’re worried because holy shit this car is worth more than your fucking life

the thought flies out the window though pretty soon

cause mo is pounding into you from behind yk, pressing you against the cool metal of the sleek black sports car

you’re choking out moans and squeals of his name and when he wraps a hand around your neck you cry out

“daddy!”

and he freezes for a second before going at you even harder

he squeezes your throat

“yeah, honey, gonna come for daddy? huh? gonna let daddy take care of you?”

and you know theres a double meaning behind his words but you just cry out

“yesyesyes, daddy, you take such good care of me, fuuuuck”

and then you’re coming while he rails you into a car that’s worth more than your existence and when he comes he forces you into another orgasm

and with all the work and running around you havent been able to get laid in a long long time

and he’s so good that you just feel so weak and drained afterwards

and then he whispers gently “you’re calling off working tomorrow, you need sleep, and i’m gonna cover everything for you for at least the next two months”

as much as you want to argue, you’ve slept maybe 10 hours in the past 2  weeks and you dont have it in you

and yeah it would be nice to be taken care of for a little bit

mo is so soft and sweet with you when he takes you home

as if he didnt just fuck the life out of you

and when you wake up in his bed, you’re a little disoriented for a second

he’s already awake, facing you with his arm wrapped around your waist

he’s pressing kisses into your neck and shoulder and you jump at the sudden realization of

“fuck! i have to get to work!” and mo pulls you back down and reminds you that everyone has a day off today

which you’d forgotten due to lack of sleep and the fact that you’d lost track of what day it even was anymore

he pulls you into his chest and buries his nose in your hair

“please, just let me take care of you,” he murmurs

you’re about to argue, now having the energy to, when he speaks again

“fuck, you work so fucking hard, and you’re amazing at what you do, and you’re so young, you don’t deserve all of this i’m not asking you to quit either job or move in with me if you dont want to or anything, i’m just asking you to let me help you. i dont want or expect anything in return okay?”

“mo, i-“

“please just think about it okay? i wanna lighten the load a little bit. and make sure you get enough sleep. i just wanna help you.”

it takes you a few days to think it over and get back to him

but you say yes, smiling shyly up at him, thanking him over and over

and he insists that you dont need to thank him

and you also are kind of embarrassed, but you ask him if the offer still stands for you to move in with him.

cause your apartment kinda sucks and the electricity is shitty and the water shuts off sometimes

and you try and promise to pitch in for rent or utilities

but he doesnt even let you breathe in the direction of the bills

which is kind good cause holy shit he lives in a swanky part of town so of course they’re expensive

i feel like he’d try not to push your boundaries, but after that first time you fucked, you just want more

and you initiate things and fuck he wants you so bad

and he tells you that he really really likes you, not just physically

and asks you out on a proper date

but you’re really not there yet, so you definitely sleep in separate rooms

but he pampers you yk

its started off as just covering your basic needs, and then to buying you clothes

and accessories

and a new laptop

and then getting your phone fixed

and then comes the lingerie

and the jewelry

and holy fuck does mo spoil you

he makes good on his promise tho

you keep your job with the leafs and your job as a barista

but being a barista becomes more of an occasional thing yk

because its fun not because you have to pay your student loans

he’s everything you’ve ever wanted

he’s attentive and caring and so fucking good to you

and loves to spoil his girl

and no one on the team is really surprised when he shows up at a bar after a win with his arm wrapped around you

they just chirp him and expose him to you about how he’s liked you forever

you just smile up at him and kiss his cheek

and you’re really glad that he found out your little secret

[midnightlie]

prompt: “want to make out?” pairing: keith/lance notes: soft klance for days, yo. 

*

Keith is sitting there in the stove top light, going over the assignments for tomorrow, as any good team leader would, when he hears the soft scuffle of boots in the hall, quickly approaching. He sets his half-gone mug of coffee back down on the counter top and lifts his eyes from the tablet screen in front of him to look at the dark doorway. 

Lance swings into view, looking far too bright-eyed for the late hour. He’s half-dressed; his uniform jacket hangs open in the front, the sleek, black turtleneck underneath clinging to him like a second skin, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. His hair looks as though he’s done nothing but run his hands through it for hours and the yellow light from the stove falls across half of his face, turning his skin the color of warm butterscotch.

“So you are alive,” Keith says, his voice rough from hours of disuse.

Lance beams at him, pausing in the doorway. The look on his face tells him that he hadn’t expected to find company here. It also tells him that he’s glad he has. “Can’t get rid of me that easily, Kogane. Did ya miss me?”

He always misses Lance when they’re not together, but he still doesn’t know how to say that out loud. “You should eat,” he says instead, peeling his eyes away to focus back on the tablet.

“You read my mind. I am starving,” Lance admits and there’s the flicker of his shadow as he crosses in front of the light towards the cupboards on the other side of the kitchen. “I bet Hunk made something really delicious. Aw man, you should have woken me up.”

Keith grabs his coffee without looking up and takes a sip. “There’s a plate for you in the fridge,” he says simply.

The sound of Lance’s footsteps come to a stop and then change directions towards him. He glances up just in time to see Lance place one hand on the counter and then lean in, his lips brushing against the hair at Keith’s temple. “Thank you,” he murmurs, and Keith can feel warmth, all velvet and smooth and candlelight soft, rising in his chest. Lance pulls back and looks down at him with tenderness that Keith will spend his whole life making sure he deserves.

“You worked hard today; you earned that nap,” Keith tells him, running his thumb absently along the edge of his mug.

Lance rolls his eyes, but his smile is unwavering and so fond that it makes Keith’s chest hurt. “So did everyone else. You’re not giving little ol’ me special treatment just because I’m your boyfriend, are you, team leader?”

“No.” And it’s true, really, that Lance both deserved the nap and that he worked hard today. Keith doesn’t think that qualifies as special treatment at all.

Lance scoffs, the tease evident in his expression. “Then why do I even bother?”

Keith smirks, because there are about 10 different things in his arsenal that would make Lance eat those words, but looks he back at his tablet and takes another sip of coffee. “Eat, Lance.”

Lance pats his shoulder as he moves towards the fridge. “Fine, fine. What are you still doing up, anyway?”

“Going over our assignments for tomorrow. The Garrison has been breathing down Shiro’s neck about crap military standards, or something, so I figure it makes him look good if we’re prepared.” He flicks his wrist for a new page and continues to read.

“Really? You should have told me.” Lance makes so much noise pulling the plate out of the fridge and putting it in the microwave it’s a wonder that anyone in the compound is still asleep. Keith finds himself smiling about it, shaking his head slightly, thinking that he must be weird if even Lance’s inability to be quiet at midnight is endearing.

“It’s not a big deal. Don’t worry about it,” Keith says.

“Can you at least let me read, too?”

“If you want to.”

“Oh, you know I want to.” Keith doesn’t have to turn around to know that Lance is probably waggling his eyebrows or making some other exaggerated expression. Instead, he pulls out the stool beside him and gives it a pat, looking up at nothing in particular as he waits for Lance’s food to finish re-heating.

They sit in silence for a good fifteen minutes. Lance eats quickly beside him and Keith holds his hand under the table, their intertwined fingers resting on top of Keith’s thigh. His thumb rubs idle patterns against Lance’s skin, slow and lazy, their attention on the tablet as they finish reading through Shiro’s instructions together.

“So...Keith.”

“Hmm?” Keith turns off the tablet and looks over at Lance, who is leaning on the counter with his elbow, his cheek propped up in his free hand. He’s giving Keith an overly innocent look, all wide eyes and lifted eyebrows. The stove light turns him into a pretty silhouette, soft and warm around the edges, and Keith is helpless to the urge that has him bringing the back of Lance’s captive hand to his mouth and pressing a kiss there.

“I’m not tired,” Lance says. “Obviously. I just napped for, like, six hours.”

“Mm.” Keith drops their hands back to his lap, but there is heat in the pit of his stomach that asks for more.

“And judging by the amount of caffeine I know you just inhaled, you’re not tired either.”

“I guess not.”

“I think we should reward ourselves for doing our homework.”

Lance really isn’t subtle at all and Keith still hasn’t figured out if that’s on purpose or not. “Of course,” he obliges.

“Sooo…” Lance moves his eyes in a wide loop before smiling boyishly at Keith. “Want to make out?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Lance laughs as Keith pulls him off the stool and towards the door, leaving both the dirty dishes and the tablet on the counter. “Where are we going?”

Keith looks over his shoulder at him as he drags Lance into the dark hallway. “To make out.”

Lance smothers his answering laughter into the palm of his free hand and Keith doesn’t let him go, quickly skirting through the empty hallways and passing the Garrison soldiers on night patrol without a single glance. The walk to Keith’s destination is taking longer than Lance apparently expected, because he starts complaining about five minutes later.

“Keith,” he moans dramatically, long and drawn out, “ugh, for real, where are we going? I wanna kiss you.”

Keith abruptly stops and drags Lance in close, claiming his mouth in one chaste kiss before pulling away, drawing on all the willpower he has not to crowd Lance up against the wall right here in the middle of a hallway. It’s too dark to see Lance’s expression as he faces forward again and continues walking, but he thinks that Lance is probably smiling that dopey smile he gets when Keith indulges him.

There are plenty of dark corners around here; Keith doesn’t have to take Lance all the way down here, to the education buildings. But he’s had this idea for a while now, and he knows that Lance will appreciate it, the same way that Lance appreciates pretty much any of Keith’s ideas. Especially when they involve sneaking around and kissing.

“Do you have a make out spot from the good old days I don’t know about?” Lance whispers as Keith leads him down the last hallway.

“No,” he replies quietly. “Do you?”

“I’m sorry, I’m not the one dragging us all the way down to the--” he stops short as Keith slowly opens the last door and pulls Lance in after him. “Oh my god, Keith.”

Keith finds himself grinning as Lance’s footsteps quicken beside him.

“Oh my god, Keith. Who even are you. These are the--these are the flying simulators.”

He pulls Lance right up to the door of one pod and punches in the keycode he might have asked Pidge to hack several days ago. Not expressly for make out purposes, but this is a gigantic perk. “We can’t fly it,” Keith explains, “but--”

The door slides open and the interior is glowing a warm, dim orange, the simulation screen pitch black. Before Keith can take another step, Lance sandwiches his face between his hands, squishing his cheeks, forcing Keith to look at him.

“You brought me all the way down to the flying simulators to make out?” Lance’s voice is highly questioning, like he’s trying to figure something very important out.

“Yes…?” The word is higher than usual at the end and he raises an eyebrow, trying to gauge Lance’s reaction in just the low light of the simulation room.

“I love you so much. How are you real.”

Keith grins again, his cheeks squishing even more under Lance’s hands, and then his palms are finding Lance’s narrow waist and pulling him in until he’s flush against the line of his body. The hands on his cheeks brush back through the ends of Keith’s hair, arms wrapping around his neck. He breathes out, a gentle little tremor, and leans in, and then they’re kissing.

He walks Lance backwards into the simulator and pauses only briefly to hit a button on the inside to close the door, his hand fumbling before it finds its mark.

Lance hums against his mouth happily, half a chuckle, and then sighs and Keith can feel the way he melts into him, the way Lance lays himself against Keith’s chest and holds on tight. Keith slides one hand up and under the back of Lance’s jacket, pressing his palm to the delicious hollow between his shoulder blades and relishing the sound of approval that purrs in Lance’s throat.

“Would this be considered ‘special treatment?’” Lance breathes out as Keith settles down into the pilot’s chair and pulls Lance onto his lap. He quickly slides the jacket off of Lance’s shoulders and kisses the line of his jaw as Lance’s fingers make quick work on the buttons on Keith’s jacket.

“Well,” Keith murmurs, his mouth moving slowly towards the corner of his jaw and then down along the elegant line of Lance’s neck, “you’re special to me.”

Lance sighs, tipping his head back as his hands wrench open the last of the jacket and then slide sensually down Keith’s chest. “I bet you say that to all of your make out boys,” he says, voice airy, teasing again.

“Just one.” Heat burns through Keith like a shot of hard liquor when he opens his mouth and is rewarded with a throaty sound, vibrating there against his tongue. He tugs at the hem of Lance’s shirt and inches his fingers underneath, slow enough to heighten the anticipation, but quick enough to ease his own desperation.

“Who--Who is he?” Lance demands indignantly, playfully, but it’s weak and breathless and it has Keith’s stomach sinking deeper in on itself.

“You don’t know him,” he says, working open-mouthed kisses back up to Lance’s cheek.

Lance laughs at that, almost too loud and Keith’s heart trips over itself again, falling the way it does whenever Lance exists in any proximity to him. And it seems impossible, that someone like Lance with his unending kindness and his selfless approach to love could want someone like Keith, who is still learning how to trust people to stay. His hands and mouth become a little more hurried, a little more wanting, gripping at the hot skin beneath his touch and murmuring silent confessions against bitten red lips.

Lance then cups Keith’s jaw, slowing him down, guiding him in for a more tender kiss. His voice is so gentle and unbearably fond that Keith can scarcely breathe. “Hey, darling, we got time.”

They do have time. And Keith makes every last second count.

[mst3kproject]

607: Bloodlust

Guys.  For the sake of yourselves and everything you love, never look for material related to this movie by searching the tumblr tags for bloodlust.  Just don’t.  While you will find the odd bit that’s actually relevant, you will also find… look, I’m sure your imaginations are equal to the task.  Some of the bonus material this week will be stuff from the episode, but there will also be a few things I found in the tag that just made me go whaaaaaat?.  None of them are gross, I promise, they’re just… odd.

A couple of blond dumbasses, who I think are named Johnny and Betty, and a couple of brunet dumbasses, possibly Jeannie and Peter, decide to have a picnic on a tropical island.  Unsurprisingly this turns out to be the home of a transparently evil Vincent-Price-looking asshole, whose hobby is murdering his guests and taxidermizing their corpses (apparently ‘taxidermize’ is a real word – my spellcheck doesn’t underline it).  Vincent-at-half-the-Price’s drunk flunky and cheating wife have an escape plan, but once that’s been foiled it’s just these idiots against the world’s self-proclaimed greatest hunter.

I am apparently in a minority, but I think this episode’s host sketches are brilliant.  Pearl’s first appearance is classic and Crow ruining Mystery Dinner Theatre is great, but my favourite part is when the SOL’s hoedown descends into anarchy.  I can watch that over and over.  If I ever witness a riot I’m going to be very tempted to just shout, “and now promenade!” and see what happens.

Anyway, The Most Dangerous Game is one of those things they make you read in English class, and like many things I had to read in English class it left me mildly traumatized.  It’s a deeply distasteful story about man’s bloodthirsty nature and how the only way to overcome evil is to sink to its level, and every so often I’ll remember it, or Harrison Bergeron, or The Lottery, and it makes my day seem a little more dismal.  I’m pretty sure nobody ever reads it except high school students and the Zodiac Killer.

So if you were wondering why it took me so long to get around to reviewing this one… well, I felt like I had to revisit the story in order to do justice to a review of this movie, and I really really really didn’t want to do that.  Just thinking about it gives me flashbacks to things like Sonnet 116 and that horrible story in which the floor was both lava and snakes.  But I said every episode and so here I fucking am.

Anyway, my return to The Most Dangerous Game, or at least to its Cole’s Notes, proved very educational – it taught me that not only is Bloodlust a lousy movie, it’s also one of those adaptations that completely misses the point of the work it’s attempting to adapt.  The main theme of The Most Dangerous Game is how the only difference between the hunter and the hunted is which one is in a position of power. Rainsford is himself a big game hunter, and discusses this with his friend Whitney.  Upon finding himself on Zaroff’s island, he becomes the prey, because Zaroff is the one with all the power.  At the end, Zaroff had believed Rainsford is dead, which gives Rainsford the advantage of surprise and turns the tables again.

Bloodlust completely discards this theme.  There’s never any real discussion of the power imbalance. Worse, while Rainsford was an experienced hunter and fighter himself, somebody Zaroff considered a worthy adversary, these four clowns are just young people who blundered into this situation and aren’t even Vincent-at-half-the-Price’s preferred prey.  He doesn’t hunt them like he does his escaped criminals, because he thinks it’ll be a challenge, he does it because the only other alternatives are to straight-up murder them or to let them go, neither of which are acceptable to him.

Rainsford was an expert on traps and tracking, which meant he could offer Zaroff a meaningful  challenge. Of the four young people in Bloodlust, only one of them is kind of barely competent, that being Betty the judo expert.  She’s smart enough to figure out how to get away with breaking the window, and manages to keep her head and chuck the lackey into the vat of acid.  When confronted with the John the Baptist dude, however, she freezes and screams along with Jeannie.  The group survives through nothing but sheer luck.

It was luck that allowed them to get out of the house and then back into it without getting seen.  It was lucky that Vincent-at-half-the-Price chose to go after the drunken sea captain first and the boys later.  It was just good luck that Jondor survived the quicksand and showed up in the nick of time to take revenge on his master.  The supposed heroes are barely involved in their own salvation.  At the end of The Most Dangerous Game, Rainsford had to sink to Zaroff’s level and become a murderer.  The four idiots in Bloodlust just stand and watch.

The one kind of interesting spin the movie tries to put on things is when it takes some time to explore why Vincent-at-half-the-Price is the way he is.  He describes how war inured him to killing until he came to consider it a pleasure. This invites us to think about people who become murderers – prevailing opinion seems to be that people like the aforementioned Zodiac Killer are born without compassion, that their killing sprees are inevitable.  Some killers, like BTK or the Green River Killer, have stated themselves that they need to kill and couldn’t put it off forever, even when they managed to take long breaks.  It’s true that many of these murderers come from terrible backgrounds – but other people are abused as children and don’t grow up to kill people.

Vincent-at-half-the-Price’s killing spree is not inevitable.  He claims to have found it distasteful at first but it later became a pleasure as repeated kills eroded the value of human lives in his eyes.  This is actually a bit more thoughtful than Zaroff, who started out killing animals and moved up when it no longer offered him enough of a challenge.  He kills people because he thinks if they can’t escape him then they don’t deserve to live.  Once again, however, this change loses one of the points The Most Dangerous Game was trying to make, which is that killing animals for sport is brutal and pointless.  At the beginning of the story Rainsford and Whitney were on their way to the Amazon to hunt jaguars – not for food, or because the jaguar offers any threat to them, but simply because they can.

So while the source material may have left stains on my young psyche, it at least had something to say.  I will also say that it’s pretty suspenseful, and leaves you honestly worried for Rainsford as Zaroff evades his traps and closes in on him.  Bloodlust, on the other hand, is mostly just boring. You know they’re not going to kill off any of the four protagonists, because the movie just doesn’t have the guts to do it.  It can’t kill the girls because they’re girls, and it can’t kill the boys because then the girls would be sad.  Sandra and the two drunks are nothing but sacrificial victims, because the writers think you can’t have a horror movie without a body count.

Even aside of that, though, this movie would still be boring.  Sandra and Drunk #2 come to the girls’ room (not the boys’ room, because they couldn’t afford another set) to tell them a bunch of things we’ve already figured out for ourselves.  Vincent-at-half-the-Price monologues endlessly as if one of his tactics is boring his guests to death.  We never actually believe that Sandra and Drunk #2 mean to come back for the protagonists, so it doesn’t really matter to us when they’re killed.

I keep wanting to refer to the main characters as ‘the kids’ but I refuse to do so.  They’re at least not as annoying as the cast of your average 80’s slasher film, but they accomplish that mainly by being very bland.  Johnny is Brave, Peter is Nerdy, Betty is Tough, and Jeannie is Scared, and that’s it.  It’s really hard to care about any of them except Betty, who earns a modicum of sympathy by being the only really proactive one (and from my longstanding crush on June Kenney).  Once we realize the movie isn’t going to kill any of them we just stop caring.

I’m not sure what to make of Vincent-at-half-the-Price’s cheating. This seems like they’re trying to make some kind of point with it – he takes a crossbow with three bolts, one for each intended victim, and gives them a gun with one bullet.  This is supposed to be sporting.  But the gun has been disabled, and when he uses the bolts he pulls them out of the corpses, cleans them off, and recycles them.  Since the ending has him just pulling out a gun to shoot his cornered victims at point blank range, I guess the point is that for all he justifies it as a form of sport, really he just likes killing people.  The story managed to say that about Zaroff in other ways.

So yeah, this one really sucks.  Even Mike and the bots couldn’t save it.  There’s a few odd lines that are really funny but most of them are so-so, and there’s stretches when the movie just doesn’t offer them anything to riff.  Watching it without the intermittent relief offered by the host sketches was a chore, and it forced me to re-visit a bad experience from my childhood.  Fuck this movie.

[incorrectly-quoted-queers]

August 28th: Education Versus Outrage

Today a news source I watch (the Phillip DeFranco show, obviously) made an interesting point I want to dissect:

When people were outraged about a GMA anchor making an off-hand, poorly thought through comment about boys dancing, he had his own opinion. He agreed that excluding comments should be called out, but that re-education should be the response and not just pure outrage.

I have mixed feelings about that.

Recently, in my mental health journey as a person and a burgeoning platform, I have come to embrace my anger. So many things about the way world treats mental illnesses (and any disorders for that matter) leave me absolutely livid. I used to be scared of people seeing my disorders, of appearing palatable, but I understandably accept that is bullshit. I shouldn’t have to put on seventeen masked coats to make other people give me basic, human kindness and respect.

I’m tired of being the kind, quiet girl with a disorder, an outlier when most people expect a full-blown unsafe, unstable liability.

I am not the outlier. People like me just don’t speak up as often because nobody feels that comfortable with it.

But Phil does have a point, ignorant people can’t learn to respect me if they still are clueless and don’t understand. It’s easier to generalize people who look, feel ,act nothing like you’d expect, and disordered people are all of the above.

Yet, I don’t want to bury my anger and truth just to make my education palatable, which I feel like a lot of people do. And I also think most people’s platforms, right now, are about teaching nuerotypicals and giving disordered folk a role model and community.

But that’s not what I want. I want to show people who I am, nuerotypical or not, and I want my community to feel shameless in who they are. I’d love if it helped nuerotypicals not be dicks, but I think it’s more important to give people like me confidence and a voice.

So many people have the tools now to survive. But I don’t want us just to survive, I want us to thrive as our best selves, disorders and all.

There’s a bizarre line to walk between education and outrage, in my space. Outrage and emotion help air the feelings that people tend to be too afraid to talk about, shine a light on those dark corners people would rather ignore. Outrage is loud and raw and can get people to listen. It’s not perfect, though. I like making people listen, but I hate feeling like I’m shouting into a void and that fighting is the only way to get heard.

On the other hand, though, education can help include people in the conversation, can open more doors for understanding and growth. It just more easily falls in the trap of being passive, overtly kind, and act more like a mediator than an advocate. Not that anyone who leans hard on education doesn’t do a great, job, they are hecking invaluable for everyone.

For me, in my space of shamelessness? I don’t think full education route works, either. I can’t be soft of gentle about who I am. I am what I am and I want me to be honest and real about it, not just positivity junction to give people the best version of me.

Sure, I want to be my best self. But I don’t want to tell pretty lies to make myself easier to swallow.

I don’t want to leave out hallucinations or hard nights or scary mental turf wars just because talking about me being a healthy little good girl looks better for metrics.

I’m not perfect. If people want to call me out on that, I want them to. But most importantly, I want them to see me and people like me. I want to educate them on the fact we’re real, we’re not perfect, but we saved ourselves from dying and we deserve all the love and support and opportunities and representation that anyone else gets.

I do want to teach people about things, but I also don’t want to become a proverbial mental health Uncle Tom. I don’t want people to look at me and say “she’s a good one”.

No, I’m just one, like any other one.

Does that mean I should ignore education or become a full-blown call-out queen? No, not really. Neither of those are me. But will I still be angry when I explain, with literary analysis and psychology, why Shyamalan is NOT a mental health ally and how he needs to get his shit together?

Abso-fucking-lutely.

[queerlyobvious]

Reflections of Pride Month 2021

As Pride month 2021 comes to a close, I wanted to reflect a little. This is my third year of officially celebrating Pride as a publicly out gay man. I say official in the sense that I always knew what Pride month was and wanted so desperately to partake in it starting around age 15 or so. However, facing the situations I had to deal with and the negative repercussions I could have faced by coming out in my youth, I just put it all behind me knowing that one day I would be able to be free enough to participate. And that time came for me in June of 2019 when I met the RubiGirls at Levitt Pavilion in downtown Dayton and the rest was history. Because of the ongoing pandemic and public health orders not being rescinded in time it caused many Pride celebrations to not be fully operating or even cancel again this year. Because of this, I personally didn’t have a lot of local options for Pride things to do. Work and personal life got in the way of and caused the cancellation of several things I had committed to this month, but I did hang out with a good friend and see an amazing drag show at Mj’s which was Jackie-O’s send off to the pageant circuit. She won at the local level and now goes on to state, and I’m confident she will go on to the highest levels of competition. I can’t wait to see how it all shakes out for her. It was a great way to close out the month celebrating with my friends in Dayton, at a place where I’m comfortable, accepted and safe. My dad came around this year and let me display a Pride flag outside for the entire month of June. It comes down tomorrow and Old Glory goes back out in her deserving spot per our agreement, but I was glad that he let me do it. For every step we take forward, we seem to take 2 or 3 backwards so I’ll take any incremental progress I can get. He will sometimes be totally ok with things, then will say something awful and not catch himself or just not care. It hurts, but you cannot educate your way out of ignorance or try to force a change where there is no willingness. I call it a very slowly progressing work in progress. I posted on Facebook in late May about putting up my flag and Michael from Have A Gay Day took notice and shared my post. It was viewed by people in at least 5 different countries and had hundreds of likes, shares and comments. I had some amazing conversations with people I did not know from all across the globe about Pride, my coming out story and made a few new online friends along the way. I was shocked at how fast the post caught fire and made its rounds. Even a month later I am still getting a few likes and comments from re-shares that trickle in over the days. The entire thing is the most traction I have ever gotten on social media in the entire history of me using social media- you may think it is insignificant, but I am proud of people seeing what I wrote and how they reacted. And finally, my outward expression of Pride has sparked some conversation in my little town of Sidney. My flag offended some of the neighbors, which only made me get a bigger flagpole and shine a light on it at night… I’m a petty gay… what can I say? It also made some of the school aged kids talk to me the last week they were in school since my corner is the bus pickup for our part of the ‘hood. One kid asked me what it was, another told me they were trans and another said that he felt like he might be gay but didn’t know what to do, so I got some trusted resources together and gave the info to him the next day. I haven’t seen the kid yet to ask about what happened, but I hope he lets me know what’s going on next year at the bus stop. Our down the street ultra-conservative neighbors put out more 2024 “Save America” Trump flags and a UUUUGE “Homo Sex is Sin” flag, which I know was directly aimed at me, but I laughed it off- to their face - and when they realized I wasn’t going to be offended or start the Westboro Baptist war they were looking for, those flags came down and their regularly scheduled NASCAR and Confederate flags went back up. To close, it’s been a great Pride month even though I didn’t do much other than celebrate in my own way. I’m looking forward to next year when the celebrations will hopefully be larger and more plentiful. But if not, I have my friends and I have my LGBTQIA+ community standing with me to love and support me. I have never met a more amazing group of people. These are people who really care, who I call dear friends and people I am so fortunate to have met to help me in this journey. I don’t know where I’d be without you all. I love you. Happy Pride 2021! 

[blaineandsamevanderson]

Title: Finding Home ch.1

Author: @blaineandsamevanderson

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Ship: Liam/Theo

Rating: PG

Summary: After the Battle of Beacon Hills, life goes on.

Notes: Thiam Secret Santa fic for @evinnschottmacher

********

“Guys, we might have a problem.”

The members of the McCall pack (well, most of them) looked up at mason’s ominous statement.  After the Battle of Beacon Hills, those who had returned opted to stay for a while and more wandering friends had trickled back.  It was reassuring after all the upheaval, having so many allies around was reassuring.  Strength in numbers and all.

Still, none of them wanted to face another big bad anytime soon.

“What is it?” Scott asked, putting down his textbook and highlighter.  The rest of the pack continued to watch mason, who took a breath.

“Look, I know Theo’s been less murdery since Liam brought him back, but…,” he hesitated a moment, “I was at Home Depot with my dad and saw Theo there.  He had a bunch of stuff in his cart, like a shovel, tarps, hammers….So you can see my concern….”

Around the room, people groaned.  Others sighed or rolled their eyes.  Stiles pursed his lips and gave Scott a look.  “I told you, we need to put a tracker on that little bastard.  Like, one of those ones ARGUS used in Suicide Squad.”

“We aren’t putting a bomb in his head,” Scott said patiently.  “We don’t know that he’s done anything wrong.  This time.”

Malia shrugged.  “I’m gonna agree with Stiles on this one.”

“It does seem like a safety net,” Isaac added with a nod.

“I hate to agree with Id and Impulse over there, but...he does have a history,” Mason said.  “Does anyone actually know what he does when he’s not with us?”

Everyone was shocked when Derek spoke up.  “He got a job and I let him stay on some land near the preserve.”  He stared back at the pack.  “What?  He’s living in his truck.  Being in the woods makes it feel more like camping than homelessness and he can get a tent or something.”

“So...where is this land where he’s probably burying bodies?” Stiles asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

****

“Well, this is so much better than you were all assuming,” Liam said, standing beside Mason’s car.  Everyone had piled into vehicles and followed Derek’s shiny black camera out into the woods, stopping at a small clearing.

Theo’s truck was there, but so was a small house.  There were clear signs of ongoing construction and, as they stood there, the Chimera emerged from the house, a frown on his face.

He was wearing jeans, a tool belt and boots, shirtless torso dusted with sawdust.  Liam swallowed, feeling his heart thump a little harder and Malia tossed him a look.

“Hey,” Theo called, hopping off of the small porch.  “What are you all doing out here?”

Clearly feeling a little silly about the assumptions that had been made, no one spoke...until Jackson drawled, “So you aren’t planning a whole bunch of murders, right?”

That earned him a slow blink.  “Not presently,” Theo replied.  “Why?”

No one really wanted to say why, so Liam blurted, “Did you build this?”

“Yeah,” Theo told them with a nod.  “I mean, the guys from work helped me with the plumbing and electrical, but I did most of it.”

“Cool,” Liam replied honestly and Theo grinned brightly at him.

****

After that, it was not uncommon for pack members to be found ‘helping out’ at Theo’s.  Derek, Braeden and Isaac were actually quite handy and Danny worked some quasi-legal magic on the Chimera’s mobile hotspot so that the wo-fi was awesome, but the rest of the pack just tended to hang around, offering commentary and watching the work going on.

Liam tried to help, he really did, but after the fourth bashed finger, Lydia had ushered him over tot he picnic blanket she, Jackson, Ethan and Danny were lounging on.  They’d even brought snacks today.

“I’m fine,” he protested, casting a look over his shoulder to where Theo was bent over, sawing a plank of wood to a particular length.

Jackson snorted.  “Sure...but if you’re going to be distracted by someone’s dimples of Venus, maybe just help with the painting.  Werewolf healing or not, broken fingers suck.”

Having no idea what to say to that, Liam simply gaped, causing Lydia to pat his arm.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he finally sputtered, feeling his face heat up.

Danny reached over and thumped his back in a supportive manner.  “Oh, you do...The boy has a nice back.  Nice everything really, even if he isn’t my type.”

That made Lydia laugh and gesture broadly at Ethan.  “Really?  Tell us again how hot, hot bad boy twunk who has tried to kill us at one point is not your type?”

“She’s got you there,” Jackson laughed as Ethan shrugged and Danny flipped them off playfully.

“Well, she used to be your type Jackson,” Danny replied, a little smug.

“Yeah, but Lydia’s amazing and I was so closeted I may as well have been a hanger,” Jackson pointed out.  “What’s your type now then?”

A smile crooked the corner of Danny’s mouth.  “Tall, blond and dry witted,” he admitted, nodding over to where Isaac was leaping off of the roof, having finished with the shingles.

“Honestly, not surprising,” Lydia drawled after a moment, slipping her sunglasses on and sipping her drink. “That boy never knew whether he wanted to toss puppy eyes at Scott or Allison.  Good to know he learned both was an option.”

“Just not at once,” Danny, Ethan and Jackson chorused.

Lydia shrugged.  “Who knows, I don’t think he ever asked.  Pretty sure Allison would have been on board.”

After that observation, everyone was quiet for a moment before agreeing that Lydia was probably right.

She usually was about such things.

“Hey,” Ethan said brightly, turning to Danny.  “Since you’ve got some pull, maybe you can talk to Isaac about not plotting my death.  I’m pretty sure he and Malia are making plans on how to off me.”

“Babe, if he hates one of us, it’s me,” Jackson tried to assure Ethan.

Looking up from where he had begun to dig a hole, Isaac said, “I don’t like either of you.  But you’re not the only ones we have contingency plans for.”

Then he went back to his hole.

“Charming,” Jackson muttered.

“I kinda deserved that,” Ethan admitted, but Liam tuned them out for a moment.

Theo had emerged from whatever he had been doing inside the house (there had been hammering involved) and dumped a bucket of river water over his head.

Every day, Liam was getting more and more sure that he wasn’t quite as straight as he had once assumed...at least not where a certain ridiculously gorgeous Chimera was concerned.

Shaking himself, he asked, “Do I want to know what a twunk is?”

Danny laughed.  “Probably not.”

****

Less than 2 weeks later, Liam sat cross legged on Theo’s porch, a tin cup of cocoa in hand.  It was just the two of them...as had become common.  For some reason, Liam kept finding himself dropping by to visit Theo in the evenings.

The other boy didn’t seem opposed to the company.  He’d even started leaving the door unlocked for Liam.

Of course, that did mean that Liam risked walking in on a warm, damp, fresh from the shower Theo.  Who was not modest.  Nope.  Not at all.

Not that he had a reason to be.

“I haven’t really had a home since I was like 11,” Theo said out of the blue, staring into his own cocoa.  “After we left Beacon Hills...I don’t know what happened to my parents, not really.  They were just gone and there was that couple the Dread Doctors had pretending to be them to keep up appearances.  But that wasn’t home, this is.”

The admission surprised Liam.  Theo didn’t really talk about what had happened with his family or The Dread Doctors.  Gently, Liam asked, “So...you lived with those people?”

Theo shrugged.  “Not really.  Spent most of my time with the Doctors.  I was even home schooled.  Test results got mailed in, so I didn’t have to live anywhere particular.  Just needed a mailing address for appearances.”

Oh well, that probably explained a lot….

“You need to finish school!”

“Yeah, that’s not happening.”

*****

“How did this happen?”

Theo honestly had no intention of going back to school.  He figured he could get his GED easy enough at some point, but finishing senior year was a big old no.

Of course, that had been before the pack meeting the day after his chat with Liam.  Even the adults (The Sheriff, Mrs. McCall, Chris Argent, Peter, Parrish, Derek and Braeden) had been there.  Everyone wanted to push him about school, how important it was.

Except Stiles, who pointed out that further educating a potential threat could come back to bite them in the ass.

His protests were part of the reason Theo had agreed to re-enroll.  Liam’s big, worried eyes summed up the rest of his motivation.

Fortunately, after all the chaos as of late, the school wasn’t asking many questions and didn’t put up a fuss when Theo went to register as a mid year transfer to finish his high school career.

Entering the school with Liam, Mason and Corey, he raised a brow as eyes turned towards them and conversations dropped away.  He could smell the nervousness and rolled his eyes.  “Really? Still?  Are they like this all the time?”

Liam huffed a sigh.  “Yeah, most mornings and when the jerk patrol is around.  It gets better.”

“They smell like guilt and shame,” Theo frowned.  “It’s acrid.”

“Hey!”

Nolan popped out of the cross corridor and Theo whipped around to glare at the other boy.  He could hear the way Liam’s heart stuttered, a rapid patter of fear that the smaller wolf quickly reigned in.  He knew Liam had forgiven Nolan for what he had done, but clearly there were some lingering effects.

“Nolan,” Liam said, voice not betraying his internal struggle.  “What’s up?”

Theo shifted, letting his bicep press against the back of Liam’s arm, reassuring the other that he was there.

“You guys have been disappearing so fast after school, I never get to catch up with you,” Nolan babbled, not picking up on the ‘GO AWAY’ vibes Theo was trying to project.

“We’ve been kinda busy, Nolan,” Mason said and Theo could hear the faint hint of distaste beneath his words.  “You know, helping get everything settled after a good chunk of the town went a little evil and decided it would be awesome to murder a bunch of teenagers.’

That made Nolan wince.

Good for Mason.

“How’ve you been,” Liam asked, once again proving that he took after his Alpha.  Theo wasn’t so forgiving, which was why he understoood Stiles’s continued dislike of him.

“Who’s the jerk patrol?” Theo asked as they walked down the hall.  Clearly, he had some shit to handle.

******

He was right.  There were a few of Monroe’s pet psychos in training still lingering around, too dumb to realize they’d lost and generally making everyone nervous.  Most of their douchebaggery was confined to commentary and threats when there were no teachers around, but it was enough to create an unpleasant atmosphere.

The three main instigators were on the lacrosse team and after seeing a practice where they intentionally hit Liam with the ball repeatedly, Theo had enough.

Like most bullies lacking protectors in positions of power, they were cowards deep down.  The day after their little display on the lacrosse field, Theo cornered the morons in the locker room.  He didn’t want them filming anything after all and no one liked to be confronted naked...well, no one who couldn’t shift into a wolf.

“You’re going to stop all this wannabe hard hunter bullshit, right now,” he told them, speaking slowly so that even the dumbest of them could understand.  He flashed them a charming smile with a little too much tooth.  “ Cuz, unlike my friends, I’m not a nice guy.  I’m trying to be, but you’re making it really hard.  I don’t particularly want to dismember you, it’s a messy process, but I can, I will and I know where to get enough acid to dissolve your remains.  We clear?

He said all that in a bright, cheerful voice, but the lingering steam in the air carried the tang of fear.

The biggest of the assholes tried to puff himself up, thinking the 5” of height he had on Theo was any kind of advantage.  “I’m not scared of you, freak!”

Theo blinked at him.  “You should be,” Hesiod simply.  “I mean, decent people don’t have to worry, but I’m not a big fan of mouth breathing ass….”

That was when the idiot tried to punch him.  Theo neatly avoided the blow, letting the jerk break his hand on the tile wall.  Asshole’s screech mingled with Coach Finstock’s shout.  

“PETERSEN!  What the hell are you doing?  Do you not understand the concept of Zero Tolerance?  You’re off the team!  Put on some damn pants and get your ass to the principal’s office!”

“He attacked me!” The kid whined, but it was for naught.

Fin stock looked at Theo, standing there, trying to look as innocent as he could.  “I might believe that if I hadn’t seen you throw the punch,” Finstock said.  “PANTS!  Principal!  NOW!”

Petersen shuffled off, followed by his friends, who gave Theo a wide berth.  Finstock continued to eye Theo.  “Lose the ‘Who me?’expression.  I never bought it from Stilinski, I don’t buy it from you.  Good reflexes.”

Theo gave a little nod.  “Comes with the territory.”

“Oh...another werewolf,” Finstock said, then jabbed a finger at him.  “You play lacrosse?”

TBC…...

****

[bthenoise]

Q&A: Andrew McMahon Discusses Recent Drive-In Shows, 15 Years Of ‘Everything In Transit’ And More

Photo by Joe Ortega

What’s there to say about Andrew McMahon that hasn’t already been said? With not one, not two but three successful musical acts under his belt, the man is a musical phenom. Not to mention, with the help of his Dear Jack Foundation -- which raises money for kids and young adults with cancer -- McMahon is also quite the philanthropist as well.

Now, currently stuck in the middle of a messy global shut down, what’s a guy like McMahon supposed to do? Well, how about throw an intimate three night drive-in concert experience to not only help people forget about the world’s problems but also raise money for a good cause.

Taking place in Southern California, McMahon and his bandmates put together three socially distant nights fans will never forget as they performed Jack’s Mannequin’s beloved Everything In Transit in full as well as favorites from both Something Corporate and Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness.

Exploring what it was like to play a rare drive-in concert during unprecedented times while also celebrating 15 years of his alt-indie breakout LP, we spoke with McMahon to get his thoughts on the weekend that was. 

To see what the talented singer-songwriter had to say and check out some photos from the show by Noise contributor Moe Horta, be sure to look below. Afterward, for more from McMahon (including his new single “Get On My Wave”) head here.   

Looking at your Instagram it appears you’re in the desert getting some well deserved rest after a long weekend. Were you pretty burnt out after those three shows? And were you even planning on doing three?

Andrew McMahon: I mean, I wouldn't say I'm burnt out. What I will say is that just because of the nature of what we were trying to accomplish -- and obviously, I feel like the stakes were much higher in the sense that there are really so few outlets for entertainers to entertain and for people to be entertained -- I think the priorities of making sure we were doing it in a way that was safe for the fans, the band and crew and a lot of what we were deploying at the time was new technology. I think, if anything else, it was just a lot of added stress. I tend to stress out and get nervous about all shows whether they're the most turnkey [shows] I've done a million times before. So I think the extra layers of like sort of “reappearing” in society in such a public way after kind of being hermetically sealed and quarantined [laughs] it was a lot but it ended up being so much fun and really cathartic. And yeah, we got to add the third show because the first two sold out so quickly and we added the live stream because we really wanted other people to be able to participate. It was a whirlwind to say the least but a lot of fun.

Is it interesting to think, looking back on this years from now, you were one of the first artists to do this drive-in concert idea? It’s almost historic in a way.

I mean, in all honesty, we saw this going on in a couple of countries in Europe currently in the pandemic that had been hit first. So you know, for me, sure there's some strategic benefit to being one of the first to market with something like this. I think it's exciting to be a part of something new and trying to bring something to people who have been missing the live experience. But I mean, I think the bigger thing for me and for all of us involved was like, one, this is what we do. We want to entertain people. And for the promoter who we did this with, they have these venues and have these spaces that aren’t being used. And I think the coolest thing about it was just that we really approached it as a family or community event. It wasn't like a typical concert where, you know, even going into it, it didn't look like it was going to make much money at all because of how expensive it was to put it together. But everybody sort of did it because we wanted to be a part of something unique and create some weird little artifact of this time that says, “Hey, we still kind of stepped up and tried to do our best version of what we could do in bringing entertainment.”

Compared to all the other shows you’ve played in your career, which surely there’s probably been some unique ones, how did this feel?

Look, I'll say this: You sort of grade it on a curve, right? I mean, because we've all been without proper platforms to do shows it's obviously different looking out at the massively spaced out parking lot and people -- we were fortunate with our drive-in, we really decided and committed going forward we won't do a drive-in where it isn't built so that people can safely social distance and watch outside of their cars because I think the model where you put people inside a car is pretty rough and they can't get out. So we did at least have the benefit of seeing faces in their own little socially distant car parking spaces next to the car. We did get that connection with fans. I'd say from the first show we did to the third show, we were constantly [updating things] that by the second night we added more speakers throughout the parking lots. We felt like we wanted to make sure that if people for some reason didn't have their FM radios turned on, which is where most of the signal from the show came from, that there was still a good mix coming their way. And I'd say by the third night that we played, it actually felt really blissful and beautiful.

During the show, you mentioned you had your high school prom right around the corner of the venue. As if things weren’t surreal enough considering the circumstances, what was it like feeling that experience as well? Must have been pretty full-circle in a way.

So the building, The Grove, is effectively the venue we played -- the parking lot of The Grove. And yeah, The Grove used to be called Tinsel Town and it was home to my senior prom. So you know, when we were trying to figure out how to safely sort of rehearse with the band -- we all got tested, then we all rehearsed on the stage at The Grove. So we did all of our prep for the show on the theater where I danced with my prom date. That for me, just as a side note, I was able to do something in the community where I was raised and saw familiar faces. And also to know that for a solid few weeks we were able to employ a lot of people in the town from the town where I grew up, it felt like a big win all around and something that we're all really proud of.

Speaking of where you grew up, were drive-in movies something you experienced a lot as a kid? For some people, it seems like the concept of going to a drive-in movie theater is new to them.

I mean, I've never been to a drive-in in my whole life. I think I've passed a few. I'm a big fan of cross-country road trips so I've done a bunch of those and I always found it nostalgic and wild when you see these sort of ramshackle drive-in movie theaters that don't really have movies anymore but still have kind of beat-up screens out there. So I mean, I feel like it's an interesting symbol to re-enter the vernacular of our culture that all of a sudden this dying method of entertainment is actually one of the few safe ways where people can gather right now. I think it's a little ironic that it happens to be in a format that has been long considered obsolete.

Yeah, it's interesting that in the time with so much technology, something that's been around forever and is pretty outdated is what’s helping save the music industry.

You know, not to get too philosophical about it in the pandemic, but I think there has been a certain level of full-circle just as far as people needing to take the time to reconnect with family and slow down a little bit. Because obviously, you can't be in an office for a million hours a day. There's restrictions on work and whatnot. I do think there's, at least for me and my family, an education in like, “Ah, maybe we can live a little simpler.” You know, maybe we don't need to be out at restaurants all the time. I appreciate the fact that at some point we'll be able to start doing that again but I think a lot of our culture is coming full-circle and asking some questions about how we spend our time and how we will spend our time when this is over.

Talking more about your life feeling a little full-circle, during these shows you celebrated 15 years of Everything In Transit. What was it like being where we are in the world in 2020 to go back to 2005 and process some of those songs again?

It's wild. You know, life couldn't be in some degree more different than it is. I mean, the sort of subject of that record was my wife, who at the time, we were separated. ... Transit especially, I've always held in this strange place within my own personal history. It really is, in so many ways, a stamp in the middle of a road where I could have gone left or I could have gone right. You know, all of a sudden, it's like here I am broken up and I'm sick then my wife and I are together and my life goes into a completely different direction. So when I sing those songs, it's almost like revisiting [this moment] standing somewhere in the middle of a fork in the road where you're sort of forced to go one direction and you thought you were going to go another.

2005 was obviously a pretty impactful year for you for a lot of different reasons. Is it hard or a little weird to celebrate a record that came out the same year you got your cancer diagnosis? 

You know, to say there isn't some level of complexity obviously would be a lie. It's interesting for me. Everything In Transit, even though it got really wrapped up in my illness and there seems to be some sort of almost prophetic words written throughout it about hospitals and doctors and things, [those were written] long before I was even living in a hospital dealing with that stuff. I also really look at that record and sort of the naivety and the hope that's written into it. The fact that it really was the thing I was most motivated to, not only to get heard, but to be able to play live at some point, I feel a bit of a debt of gratitude to that album for me getting better quickly because it was really so much at the heart of my survival. It's like, “I love this record so much, I want people to hear it” so I think I see that side of it a lot more. I [also] see the love story in it more than anything because it really is this moment that all of us go though as people when we end up really falling in love with someone. You know, sometimes you wonder if it's too good to be true and then blow it up to see if you're right. In my case, whatever happened to me put me back on the right road and I ended up getting married with the girl who I wrote that record about. So I think I see those parts more than the cancer or the complications that followed.

Talking about the performance of the record, which songs were most excited to bring back into the setlist again?

Oh man. You know, even when Transit was out, we really didn't play “Into the Airwaves” a lot. If you actually got the original version of the record, “Airwaves” was a bonus track back when you could have a bonus track, you know what I mean? Like, we just tagged it on to the end of the record. If you were willing to listen for a minute, then that song would play. And I kind of treated it that way because it felt like an epilogue more than a part of the body of the main story. So we sort of treated it like that live. [During the drive-in shows] we did a version of it that was just like an acoustic rendition of the song. And to me, that ended up being this really beautiful moment that we hadn't put a ton of thought into but we're just like, “Let's do one of these tunes a little bit different than you would hear it on the album” and it became one of my favorite parts of all three nights. And the words, “don't panic, there's simply no need, it's going to be a hard day” I think hit me a little bit harder and perhaps the audience a little bit harder too just knowing that we are in a moment where it's pretty easy to let the fear take the wheel in this particular moment in time.

That’s very true. Speaking of that rendition, was it challenging to put together considering you probably had pretty limited practice time?

Well, I mean, a couple things to that: One, when we agreed to do the show, we made it imperative that all of us would be tested before we got on stage together and that we would all quarantine during the process of putting the shows on. So we were still more or less masked when we weren't singing but we all knew we were safe. So that was helpful but we didn't truly have a ton of time to practice. I think in all, the whole band really only had four days to pull together the record and we also had Morgan who was a new addition learning all of those songs to play for the first time at that show [laughs]. My second point being that I'm really blessed to have some very incredible musicians that I've worked with on and off for decades now. And you know, if I were to say let's work on an acoustic version of this song, Bobby would be sending me guitar riffs and things that he thinks would work before we even got to practice and we would just sit down and feel it out. I think that was what was fun about what I call the “ramble song” during the set. We also did another version of “Love and Great Buildings” on a couple of the show nights and with both of those, I think it turned out really cool. They were just meant to be like, “Hey, pick up your guitar and go with the changes. Let's see how it works.” And it turned out really cool I thought.

Yeah, it came out great and the fans definitely enjoyed it too. It is crazy to think that this show was such a unique moment in time that might not ever happen again?

Yeah I mean, that's how we intended it. You know, I think when we started working on the show as a concept is was like, “We're gonna do this thing, and there's a number of reasons to do it, but the number one reason was let's create a hopeful, positive memory in the middle of a time where people are feeling like they're missing out on a lot and things are a little out of control.  Let's give people some control, give them a place to be with other people that's safe and just smile and hang out.” There hasn't been a lot of that in my life. You know, I get that with my family but I'm not really in a position to go sit anywhere with 2000 people and be a part of a common experience. I felt like that was really, if anything, the impetus of doing this whole thing. Just let's give a lot of people a place to be safe.

Adding to that hopeful and positive note, portions of the tickets sold went to the Dear Jack Foundation which you guys raised a lot of money for. How’d it feel knowing you’re not only giving your fans some joy but also helping the foundation as well?

Yeah, I'll be perfectly honest: Looking around at what's going on with the economics of people, nonprofits are getting hit really hard right now. It's a very tough time to raise money because I think, rightfully so, everybody's holding on to their money waiting to see how long they're gonna have to save to get through this thing. So we knew really early on that there would be a component of giving back to the charity via ticket sales and the live stream. What I think blew us away was that we didn't really anticipate the live stream being as big of a thing as it was. We were like, “Oh yeah, maybe a thousand people will watch.” [Instead], thousands of people showed up for the live stream and that generated a really good amount for Dear Jack. And I'm going to kind of keep doing a version of that throughout the year. Like we're launching the 250k Challenge, which is like our big fan-centric fundraiser we do every year in the fall, so that's gonna launch [in August]. We're gonna do some fundraising over Instagram Live and have donate shows and things like that. You know, anything I can do to keep the lights on for Dear Jack is important in terms of the work we're doing there and the work that still needs to be done regardless of what's going on.

That's really awesome. Obviously, no one really knows what the future holds but in terms of your music, do you think the pandemic will impact some of the songs you're writing?

It's hard to say. I'll be honest: Since this pandemic began, I've actually been working on a book project primarily. So most of the day, I spend writing on a laptop just writing words. And I had written tons [of music] leading up to the pandemic that I was so excited about and doing a lot of work with an artist named King Tuff who's just incredible. He's like this rock artist -- really talented, great songwriter -- and we're kind of this weird mismatched pair as far as if you put us on paper. You'd be like, “I'm not sure if this is a record I'd pick up.” But the songs we were writing together before the pandemic, I was so excited by. It just felt really fresh. Hysterically, it felt, if anything, more like a great summer record. It's not that the lyrics aren't very literary or that they're not deep, but there's just a sound to it that was a little bit effortless. In a way, I think if those songs were released during this pandemic, they would almost be released more as an antidote to it rather than a reflection specifically of what it feels like. Cause I'm not writing a lot of music [right now]. I'm writing words. I'm writing this book and then I'm revisiting the songs that I wrote that are supposed to come out but haven't yet [laughs]. It'll be interesting but I certainly imagine once I actually get down behind my piano and start writing songs, it's possible that [writing about] the effects of what we're all going through would only be natural. But at the same time, I've also found when, at least the times when things feel hopeless, I end up latching on to the concept of hope and what is the other side of that coin to keep me out of it. Rather than going dark and deep into it and not giving myself the good medicine that I could be getting out of a song.

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A post shared by Andrew McMahon (@amnthewilderness) on Jul 22, 2020 at 1:25pm PDT

[inopinion]

Scene Short: Rise, Red as the Dawn

Prompt:

He searched for each other through the crowd. Perhaps not intentionally but out of necessity. They hadn’t seen each other in so long, it felt like forever since their fight. His warm eyes met her cold ones. She was exhausted, he noted. Maybe from lack of sleep or stress, maybe even both. He felt terrible. He hadn’t known it would do this to her. But she was closed off from him, still hurt by the sting of his words. She broke their eye contact and slipped away into the rest of the crowd.

Hope you like this. I got a little carried away, I’m not sure if it qualifies as “short”.

Response:

Cal straightened the front of his uniform so that the buttons aligned all the way down. He tweaked the collar in a weak attempt to widen it. Anabel’s tailors, all of them reds, all of them silent and fast, had measured him in five minutes and returned in a day with the final product. Thinking of them working overnight made him sick. When he became King, he’d change that. And, in Anabel’s wisdom, he would be claiming the crown in just over an hour.

Silver armies had pushed Maven across the Choke into the Lakelands making him the last prince in Norta. And this made him King. So, the deadline on his promises swiftly approached and implementing his new ideals among the silver courtiers frightened him. He knew well, that a soldier did not usually make a good statesman. Anabel advised caution, patience, and a slow pace of change. On the other hand, he knew the Guard would keep tabs, Mare would be watching. If she could see the changes. If he could make them happen, maybe she’d come back to him. Maybe she’d… be his mistress.

A King shouldn’t feel so disgusting on the day of his coronation, but the thought of Mare subsisting on the sidelines of his life, that he would even offer her that, shamed him. If there was ever an indicator that he didn’t deserve her that she didn’t deserve his repugnant presence, that one thought surely was it. Mare Barrow would be no one’s mistress, least of all his.

Separating himself from Evangeline, from House Samos… the Rift kingdom, would take more statesmanship than getting reds better conditions, pay, and education. And without managing both his promises to Mare and breaking the engagement, he had no leg to stand on in getting her back.

Wanting, he had to stop wanting. Kings don’t have the luxury of acting on desires, he reminded himself. A King’s duty is to his country, not to himself. A King puts his court before his personal gains. A King does not chase after boyhood fantasies. A King is not supposed to enjoy his life, but live it for others.

But he knew one King who regretted ever agreeing to the crown.

 Julian smiled kindly at him in the throne room. Maven’s silent stone monstrosity had to be left in place, no ability could take it down and he hesitated to assign reds to break it apart by hand. Cal kept his distance, but stared at it weary and hard as he proceeded to the platform in the center of the room. His court surrounded him. Many of the colors he’d grown to expect were missing, their loyalties too much of a question or their presence blatantly unwanted. But filling their positions are new dignitaries from Montfort, Piedmont, and the Scarlet Guard. As he approached, the crimson-clad guardsmen turned their backs and looked away. An oddly peaceful protest for an organization that had murdered silvers in that very room.

Julian had schooled him for hours on the exact phrases to repeat. His voice sounded like someone else, booming out and around the chamber but getting lost among the bodies, no echo returning. He felt isolated, shrouded in silence. He completed the phrases and slid down to his knees to receive the crown on his head. He rose, a silver king. The clapping and cheers from his silver court were muffled by the acoustics of the room and without the sharpness he expected. The surreal moment ended, Julian directing him off the platform and through the throngs into the chambers to the south.

He changed from the uniform of a soldier into one resembling his fathers, a suit he and Maven had pulled out of the closet and worn around playing dress-up as kids. Looking in the mirror, he didn’t recognize himself as a King. He still looked like… like… Cal. He looked like himself, untouched by the transformation and yet saddled with the labors and expectations and the regalia of a king. His eyes lingered in the mirror, Julian’s hand at the crook of his arm dragged him away.

The volume hummed through the double doors of the chambers. A couple hundred people rambling and shouting over each other, waiting for his reappearance. The doors opened and released a wave of noise knocking him back on his heels, only Julian’s persistent pressure on his arm kept him moving forward. The hall erupted, even louder.

“Wave, smile.” Julian hissed into his ear and let him step in front of him.

Cal forced his hand up and his teeth out, unnatural. He glanced around, the Sentinels took their positions keeping the crowd three feet back, four of them making a square around him as they moved slowly through the court. Following the sentinels in front of him, Cal exited the chamber and headed toward the palace entrance, the crowd behind him following at a jovial distance. The broad doors were splayed open to the outside, the common people, and the true citizenry waiting for him. He passed through the arch and took in the predominantly silver front lines along the parade route. Off to his left, up in the trees, he saw red, more Guards members, lounging on the branches, unaffected by the pomp of the parade. Kilorn and Ada nestled together, his arm brought an apple to his lips, and his other held her to keep her balance. Her keen eyes bore back at Cal, evaluating everything, absorbing everything.

Good for Kilorn, Cal thought, stepping past his regret. His mind drifted easily off of the crowd around him, the silvers cheering, the reds on the hills or the buildings, silent, forced either by habit or fear of reprisal. But Kilorn and Ada and the Guard, they chose to come and watch the spectacle. To show themselves as a quiet resistance still within the country. Eyes that would judge him, watch him, and then, maybe, tear down the tentative peace for his failed promises. He couldn’t fail. That’s what they wanted him to know. If he failed, they’d come for him. If he didn’t change, they would make a change.

They rounded the corners into the wide high-street flanked by apartments and store fronts. Women hung out of the buildings and again, on the next corner, a red rag waved outside of closed windows. Driving their warning home with exhausting repetition. Waiting at the end of the procession, a group gathered outside of the arena which had been transformed from the container of a spectacle to the elegant host for the celebration. The party, unlike the crown ceremony and the parade, was meant for the citizens including the red citizens, at his insistence.

Once inside, his sentinels joined a dozen more and split up to monitor the guests entering at the doorways, two shadowing him at a respectful distance. For a handful of minutes, only silvers of the court entered. But not to miss yet another opportunity, members of the Guard sauntered through in barely clean uniforms and civilian clothes. General Farley looked around flanked by a sea of sworn enemies of his silver state.

What was the saying? Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer?

“Your highness.” Farley smirked, offering a handshake and not a bow. Those closest to her followed suit, except Tramy Barrow didn’t extend his hand at all.

“General. Thank you for the show of… um, support,” he commented, scratching the back of his head and looking around.

“You’re a smart lad, Cal. Command has strict instructions to our local and auxiliary forces if this experiment of yours doesn’t head the right way.”

“Thank you for the reminder, enjoy the party.” Cal pushed past her and headed towards the Samos representatives. Like smoke and fire, if he found Ptolemus, he would find Evangeline. Keeping up the appearances of an engaged couple entailed a lot of prancing around within inches of each other, but they’d already agreed to touch as little as possible.

“Your highness.” Evangeline dipped, dutiful. Ptolemus offered a fuller bow fitting Cal’s new title.

“May I borrow my bride?” Cal asked.

“Of course, my lord.” Evangeline offered her hand and he allowed her to set it on his forearm. “I thought we agreed to keep this to a minimum.”

“Yeah, well, this is a formal event.”

“You must want something out of flashing me around the room. So, what can I do for you?” She drove home the business of their relationship.

“Exactly what you’re doing now. We put in our time, we leave in two hours, together.” The music started, the live band beginning an upbeat waltz. “How about we dance?”

“Better than standing and talking.” She agreed, her feet moving fluidly across the floor.

“Thank your father for sending Ptolemus to the coronation.”

“He’s here to set the date for our wedding,” Evangeline huffed.

“What if…”

“Cal. We have to.”

“Do we?”

“If you can secure some other guarantee that you’ll respect my father’s kingdom, I’m all ears.”

Cal sighed, heavy, turning her lightly on the floor and letting himself escape into the “what if” games.

Evangeline demanded his focus by stopping them midstep. “Look, Cal, neither of us asked for this. Neither of us wanted this. But you’re the one that agreed. So either fix it, or shut up about it.” She paused, softened re tone, and added, “I’m sorry my lord but I’m afraid my feet are already tired of all this dancing,”

Cal wondered how long Anabel would wait before yelling at them both. Worse, he wouldn’t be able to use Evangeline’s caustic personality as a shield against the attendees. He could, however, meander his way into the band-stand under the guise of curiosity. He pretended to examine the saxophones and the violins. He watched the drummers and traced the cords for the microphones. He dawdled around through the rows of musicians between songs and shook their hands. The nervous band members bobbed and mumbled, then carried on playing when he’d made it through.

Anabel waited at the side of the stage, her face upturned and expectant. He greeted her with a kiss to the cheek and the placating smile he’d practiced his entire life. She brushed a few hairs off of his suit and patted his cheek.

“Where has your princess gone?”

“I think she left with her sister-in-law. Seems we’re basically married already,” he grumbled.

“A king does not have the luxury—“

“Of acting on his desires. I know.”

“And neither does a Queen. I’ll be sure to address it with her in the morning.”

“Please, wait for breakfast, I’d like to watch.” Anabel twisted her eyebrow up and he apologized under his breath.

“Cal, if there was any other way, the opportunity would have presented itself already. You need the Rift-loyal houses to defeat the Lakelanders. You need them to get your country back once and for all. Maven alive and across the Choke is not a stable situation.”

“I know.”

“Then stop sulking. You are King. You are in charge here. This is a display of your power and generosity. So stop hiding from your responsibilities and talk to your guests.”

Cal’s subconscious lifting of his foot, as if to stamp it, highlighted the reality that he had previously not grasped: he needed to grow up. The games were over and he had lost. The remainder of his life would be exactly what he grew up expecting: duty and responsibilities. These people, all of them dancing around him and eating food from his kitchens, they depended on him. And Anabel was right, they expected a strong King and many questioned if he could hold his ground with the might of the House of Samos, let alone the armies of the Lakelanders and his brother.

He pushed out into the growing crowd, shaking hands, talking, learning names and ranks and engaging reds and new bloods, Scarlet Guard, and silvers. His sentinels kept their distance, eying him closely, even though they had checked everyone at the door. His hand felt greasy and used, tainted by hundreds of hands. He turned and looked for new faces, new colors and found something very familiar: the brown curls and stunned eyes of the lightning girl. And just as quickly as she appeared, she disappeared, folded behind arms and limbs and moved by bodies.

“Mare!” He called out, looking over and glancing just her shoulder. He followed. Pushing and excusing himself, remembering his manners only barely. Then he saw her through the part, looking at him, mouthing his name. Then the guests closed in and he lost her again. He shuffled in her general direction. She stayed just out of his reach, her eyes also seeking his. He struggled to breath, she ran from him. Her pace, her angles through the crowd so nearly a retreat, except she kept stopping and looking back. He had chosen the crown, and she wanted nothing to do with it, at least that’s what he thought until she appeared at his coronation party. He moved forward, one last push to catch her, and then she appeared in the crowd slightly behind him a blur in his periphery. They’d crossed and she confirmed she wasn’t running away but trying to lead him. To speak with him more privately, maybe?. His heard swirled around the feelings of forgiveness even if his prayer for it had yet to be given.

Mare waited walled in by the backs of a boisterous group of silver soldiers at the edge of the dance floor. Cal closed the distance. He gaped at her and the simplicity in her beauty flawless compared to the garish display of his bride-to-be. Mare’s plain, form fitting dress left less to the imagination than Evangeline’s sharp edges. Mare’s curves settled on small bones and pink skin begged to be touched and set aflame with a hot blush. She truly was the one thing he desired most.

The band began playing and hands pushed them together and onto the dance floor. Cal held Mare carefully, with an ease they’d acquired during late night practices in his room. She responded to his every touch, her hips coming in to meet his body. She shivered and he blazed.

“Mare, I didn’t think you’d be here. If this is--”

Mare pushed her head up and her mouth next to his ear. Her lips tickled the small hairs of his earlobe. His nerves tingled with pleasure and need.

Her voice stayed a whisper, raspy and ethereal, but each word came out as a rushed staccato. “Cal, it’s not too late. You don’t need Samos. The Guard is strong and the New Bloods are stronger. Montfort is prepared to send even more reinforcements and we’re gathering Piedmont New Bloods by the dozens.”

“Mare, I don’t… I thought.” He pulled away, but her hand on the back of his neck drew him back down to her.

“You think that because you believe that blood doesn’t matter, you can change things? Look around. Look at every red in this place. If they aren’t the Guard, read the fear on their faces. Nothing has changed. It’s just not in the open anymore. And this will continue as long as you have that goddamned crown on your head.”

“Mare, I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. You just don’t want to.” Mare dropped his hand, leaving behind a note. Her hand shook and she slipped away.

Cal searched again, looking from face to face: silvers laughing, silvers dancing, silvers drinking from cups brought on trays carried by red girls. Red men lined the walls arms crossed and eyes down until his gaze fell in their direction and then the unmistakable fear flashed behind smiles and jovial actions. Mare was right, she was always right, this was a display of power, silver power, to show how much power they still had over him.

Her note was simple. “Rise, red as the dawn, and I will be waiting for you. But I will not wait forever.”

Give a girl a reblog to share with your Red Queen fan friends.

@ @anyone-anything-canbetrayanyone, @lilyharvord, @runexandra, @wrenskonos (??? wont tag ??? Are you @spookysamos now?), @chelsthebookworm, @delilahronnelle, @red-queen-united

[barbariccia]

potential archfiends xiv raid!

as mentioned yesterday, i’ve now spent an obscene amount of time putting this together. i desperately want 4′s archfiends as a raid, and i know i’m not the only one - so i took the liberty of putting together a fake raid, because i’m a fucking nerd.

pls note i still consider myself new to mmos and i have NO idea what the fuck i’m talking about. pls don’t call me out on any mistakes, this is just harmless fun.

@dravanian @golbez @vaguerantstory y’all are the ones i know that would want to read this most, so, enjoy! :D (ashy idk if that’s tagged you properly hhh)

FINAL WORD COUNT: 4786

Duty Finder Updated! Tower of Bab-Il now accessible.

garlemald has that big tower sticking out of the clouds, so it's an area that wouldn't be reached until (theoretically) 5.0. ilsabard proper takes a long time to traverse through; you're fighting garleans at every pause for breath and hearing stories of viceroys and commanders and every arm of the army is out to get you, as the WoL. you overhear at one point that there is a secretive branch to the garlean army known as ARCH. reports on how many soldiers belong to it vary, and it's so secretive that no one save the emperor knows what they do. it's up to you to find out.

->pre-raid quest

you follow npcs around garlemald listening to every report you can. mostly they're junk, but you hear one or two talking about ARCH. following them leads to an instance where you kick the crap out of a fairly high-ranking legatus. the npc that introduces you to this quest takes them away to interrogate them and comes back with information: ARCH is where high-ranking turncoats are taken for re-education. they're located in BAB-IL, that tall tower.

RAID: -you enter via a cave system similar to getting out of binding coil.

TIER 1 - BASEMENT

there's lots of undead crawling around. lots of enemies that stun or hold you in place. you fight your way to the staircase that leads up, which is blocked by a small, robed figure. he mocksssss you the entire fight. SCARMIGILONE PHASE 1 - every melee attack is countered with a thunder spell, which has a 50/50 chance of stunning for 3 seconds. tanks don't need to worry about holding him as he throws out large aoe voidal spells at random. healers and dps must avoid as they'll get debuffed (silence, blind, stun) as well as take damage. phase 1 isn't difficult to beat him down. at the end of phase 1 he'll become untargetable and stumble backwards with his arms out, intending to stop the player from ascending the stairs no matter what. he trips on his robe and falls off the edge of the arena.

SCARMIGLION PHASE 2 - doesn't start until the player approaches the staircase. spoken prompts appear: "[laughter]" "impressssive...." "but my true strength lies in death!" milon appears at the back of the arena, pulling himself up and over the edge - he's about four times as larger as he was before. full zombie looking. he slams the floor which removes the edge barrier - you can now fall off the arena! -slow, untelegraphed melee attack. get out of the way of these as they'll hit multiple people and push them backwards. tanks need to turn him away from the party and watch out! -mages that cast fire magic will find themselves debuffed pretty quickly! he'll counter with Gas. a marker will appear on the target. the further you are from him, the less time the debuff will last for. -when someone uses holy against him, another prompt will appear that is him screaming in agony. -he is weak against fire, so healers should be ready with esuna to cure mages. spamming fire and holy will end the battle quicker. after the second holy spell is cast, he'll summon multiple zombie adds that will tether against him and make him invulnerable. burn the adds and then the rest of the way.

at the end of the encounter, he'll fall backwards off the arena again, this time for good. the party can now ascend the stairs.

TIER 2 - HALLS

this area is eerily deserted, at least at first. partway through, a Familiar Faced Soldier will run up to you. spoken prompt: "[huff... puff...]" "have you come to stop the emperor?" "he's here, this is your chance to defeat him for good!" "hurry up!" he then runs off. from here monsters will spawn in, and the soldier will chide you for wasting time killing them. nothing special, just garlean soldiers. there's a big door at the end of the hallway. spoken prompt: "here it is... the throne room." "heh heh heh..." a short cutscene plays when the door opens. it shows the party walking into the halls, with the soldier leading the way. within the hall are several soldiers that all turn to face you. the throne is empty.

BOSS 1- BAIGAN

each party will need to take up positions at the left, right and centre. parties on left and right will need to target baigan's arms; the centre will need to target baigan himself. there's a lot of adds that's going to spawn. this is just a dps check - baigan, untargetable, is going to long-cast a spell that drains the soldiers left alive of their remaining power, much like halicarnassus of haukke hard. having said that, there's a LOT of soldiers. when you think you've got them all, think again, because the door to the throne room opens and more run in.

the spell baigan casts stuns everyone for a couple of seconds and allows him to reveal his true, monstrous form. from then it's pretty standard. has a tankbuster move, followed by wide conal aoe. disabling his arms will stop the tankbuster. healers keep on your toes! at 25% trash soldiers will flood in and he'll start his longcast again. burn the trash to prevent him from regen-ing health, and focus the rest on him.

after this another short cutscene. WoL will approach the empty throne. the doors will open, and in walks the emperor. emperor: "well, well, baigan. that won't do. not if we're to take the throne." [WoL shocked] emperor: "hahahaha. garlemald will prevail... even if it's not by the true emperor's hand!"

the fake emperor sweeps out of the hall. you have to retrace your steps all the way through this part of the dungeon. you see him cast magic and step onto a transporter, and you follow him.

on the other side, the makeup of the tower is markedly different. it looks darker, foreboading, vast and empty of garlean insignia. at the end of the room, a throne, with the fake emperor sitting on it, looking bored. he stands as you approach.

BOSS 2 - CAGNAZZO PHASE 1 he fights very slowly but hits very hard. multiple aoes at the same time, wide cleaves that send the party flying back. occasionally he'll summon a shield, much like ravana. attack from only one side during this time or get a debuff. at 90%, he'll roar, and burst forth from his armor.

PHASE 2 a terrible monster, cagnazzo is much larger than scarmiglione. as with baigan, his feet are targetable, as is his head - although his head will not take damage until at least 50% has been inflicted on both feet. -bite attacks target a single player and holds them for several moments, taking ongoing damage -Bile, a puddle that slows when walked in and stacks Scent Of The Sea on the player. if the player has 3 stacks of Bile, cagnazzo will ignore aggro and Bite the player. SOTS increases damage vulnerability, making this one harder to heal through. -frontal swipe

at 50% he'll retreat into his shell and stop taking damage, but it's important the party doesn't stop inflicting it! he's trying to heal himself. the breaks to his concentration stop him from regening health. after 30secs he'll roar again and reemerge, shielded.

PHASE 3 (SHIELD) he'll still turn up as INVULNERABLE but you need to burn his shield super quick. he'll have another health bar appear that's a different colour. BURN HIM. if the shield's still up after the 1min mark the raid will wipe. he's charging a tsunami move. -tsunami: he summons water that comes flooding into the room. the pressure of the water is too much to bear and everyone wipes.

PHASE 4 (POST SHIELD) when his shield is taken down his actual shell will crack noticably. one part of the raid should concentrate damage on the exposed carapace, the other draws his attention from the head. he reverts to using bite, bile and his swipe. at 25% he'll summon: -tidal wave same animation as tsunami, but washes everyone in the raid to one side of the arena. anyone debuffed from bile will die immediately. -he'll cast bile more often after this. at 10% he'll cast tidal wave again.

after the battle, he won't die immediately- he'll be untargetable and start a cast bar. the raid must focus damage on the doors they came in by, which are now targets! the cast bar will go for 40 secs. there are pillars in each corner of the room; every 10 secs he'll lash out and destroy one. if the party is still in the room when the cast ends they'll be crushed by the ceiling. everyone has to focus damage on the doors and run through them immediately.

TIER 3 - FROM ON HIGH

a cutscene plays. the party, bewildered, gets up from their teleporter pad that they ran into. they don't recognise where they are. it seems like the outside of the tower - they're really high up. clouds will obscure the player's vision as they ascend. mobs include: -birds and other flying enemies that swoop in from the skies -a dragoon at the halfway mark

you need to ascend the outer walls. there's a staircase with plenty of little nooks and crannies to hide in for when the WIND PICKS UP. you can and will fall off the edge here. if you're caught outside of a nook when the wind rises you'll be swept off. if you walk off the edge of the stairs you're dumb and deserve your stupid death.

it'll take some time. the higher you get the more flying mobs appear.

at the halfway mark, you'll reach a flat platform. here is where the dragoon appears. he's not a boss, doesn't speak, isn't wearing garlean colours. there's no indication to his identity. the staircase continues on the other side of the platform, but as you walk over...

BOSS - MAGUS SISTERS

your way is interrupted by a very tall spear-wielder. the way back down is blocked by a small girl with knives. from the sky jumps a very round enemy, who cracks the platform.

speech prompt: "i am sandy!" "mindy!" "cindy!" "we are the magus sisters!" sandy: "so sorry to meet you like this." mindy: "it's the end of the line!" cindy: "get ready!!"

each party needs to focus on one sister. they each have their own attacks.

SANDY, THE SPEAR-WIELDER: -doesn't fight like a dragoon, she uses the spear as an extension of her arm -thusly: wide frontal cone aoe and a spin move. both push the party back. -four-part jab to whoever's in front of her. tanks need to position this away from the party as she follows up with an immediate wide-conal swipe.

MINDY, THE CHILD -very fast, can bounce from pc to pc -marked PCs will be next in line for her attacks! she'll dart from one to the next. shields and cooldowns will prevent the bleeding debuff. -spins around the arena, dealing damage in a circle around her. get out of the way!

CINDY, THE LARGE -has the largest health pool of the sisters -very slow attacks, but they hurt a lot. at least two different tankbusters. -jumps around the platform for aoe damage.

note: the platform has no edges. watch where you're running!

when each sister's health is brought to a certain threshold, they'll charge their delta attack. this is where the raid group intermingles. tank level 2 or 3 lb is needed to survive. sandy will cast reflect on cindy and mindy will charge DELTA ATTACK. melee/phsyical ranged dps need to attack cindy to avoid damage being reflected. magical ranged dps should burn mindy in the meanwhile. tanks hold sandy's attention and avoid her knockback jabs. when mindy's dead, it's a case of burning the other two in quick succession and carrying on.

keep going up the staircase, following the same rules as before. look off the side: you'll see a figure circling the tower! this is barbariccia. close to the top she'll shoot up past the party and laugh. she's waiting for you at the top, on the next platform.

TIER 3.1 - BARBARICCIA

PHASE 1 she's very graceful, and she laughs even more than garuda does. she's another quick boss, with a lot of annoying debuffs. the entire raid will be attacking her at once. there is still no wall to this arena.

-stone claws: inflicts a petrification debuff on a target, and stacks HEAVY FOOTED on that pc. stacks of 5 inflict petrification that cannot be esuna'd away. she'll use this often. -doesn't follow normal aggro rules. she can be PROVOKED into turning toward a tank, which you'll need to do for her longcasts. uses stone claws mostly on dps, but she can and will go for healers as well. -healers need to watch out for maelstrom. this is the worst of the three longcasts. anyone in her range of vision (get behind her!) will be stunned in place, unable to move as she calls down a whirlwind to sap them of all strength. the pc will be reduced to 1hp. healers need to cure IMMEDIATELY as she follows up with a spinning attack that doesn't knock the players back, but inflicts 3-4k~ damage. -another longcast (not as long as maelstrom) is her lightning attack. it'll target random players and stun for 4 seconds.

at 50% she'll fly up out of range. use this time to heal!!! when she comes back down the entire platform will take damage. speech prompt: "i'll put an end to you all!"

PHASE 2 once the platform has taken damage, she'll change shape into a whirlwind. she'll stop using stone claws now, and instead switch to: -FULMINATION, which casts silence on the target (10sec), inflicts heavy (10sec) and stacks. -melee damage has an auto-counter for 1-2k.

at 30% she'll fly out of target and adds will spawn. PHASE 3 - ADDS -melee dps will want to focus on the Brainwashed Soldiers that start to march onto the platform. they'll come slowly, but a single dps won't be able to burn them. -magic dps will want to focus on the Wind Shades that ping into existence. they have magic vulnerability, explode on death, and if not dealt with quickly enough, grow into a larger whirlwind that sucks party members in and inflicts heavy damage. -tanks should come out of tank stance briefly to help with the dps.

PHASE 4 with all the adds dead, barbariccia will pop her ultimate. a speech prompt will appear: "Curse you!" and multiple quick aoes will target at random. there's less than two seconds to get out of these, so just keep moving! they'll do about 2-3k damage for each hit taken. after 10secs of this there'll be a lull wherein you can target barbariccia again. -she starts using stone claws again, quicker than in phase 1

-at 10% she'll scream and cast maelstrom again. anyone in front of her will go down to 1hp; she'll follow up with a spin move that you have to get out of the way of, and then immediately another speech prompt will appear.

"Disappear, along with this tower!"

she'll summon a tornado on the outer rim of the platform that quickly starts encroaching on the rest of the arena. from here it's a dps check. burn her until she's dead or you'll wipe.

once she's dead, she'll scream, and the tornado will sweep the party away - though harmlessly, if you've done it right! you wake up on the floor. getting up, you hear an unfamiliar voice. "I've restored thee to full strength. hie thee to mine master's chambers..."

TIER 4 - DARK PASSAGES

the halls are getting progressively narrower. trash mobs include Brainwashed Conscripts and Unwilling Subjects. As you think you're coming closer to the final room, the doors to it will close and another set will open. inside is...

BOSS - LUGAE

speech prompt: "Interrupted! Get out! OUT!"

lugae himself is fairly easy to burn through, but he'll summon BARNABUS as he dies.

BOSS - BARNABUS

more challenging than lugae, he has mostly tankbuster moves. more than anything it's another dps check. if you're fighting him for too long he'll cast POISON GAS on the entire party which cannot be removed and will sap your strength quicker than can be regen'd.

he'll drop a key, which opens the way to the final chambers. there are 2 figures in here: one clad in armour of the blackest night, and another that stands in front of him, head to toe in red.

speech prompt: "we have been expecting you. rubicante?" "as you wish, my lord."

the red figure steps forward. "i am rubicante, the autarch of flame. allow me to restore thee." he does so. all debuffs are removed. "and now..." "we fight."

PHASE 1 - RUBICANTE

he's a bitch to fight because he heals himself. not for a lot, but enough to be annoying. physical attacks will do less damage than magical. -throws out fire-based aoes fairly often. dodge these. -he will actively throw these aoes out attempting to push you to the wall. there's no edge to this stage, so you might think it's safe... -but if more than seven members across the raid reach the wall, he'll cause a wall of flame to burst. this will inflict the BURNING status on anyone touched and deal heavy damage. -from hereon the wall of flame will remain up. dodge th aoes without getting burned!

once he's been pushed to about 50%, he'll start counting down out loud from 5. when he hits 2 he'll open his cloak and gain damage vulnerability; bleed him during this time!

RUBICANTE'S ULTIMATE: INFERNO

it's entirely possible to survive without popping tank LB lvel 2/3, but it'll hurt you. anyone that doesn't die will have ongoing burning debuff. -his aoes will get quicker now -with his cloak closed he's back to taking regular amounts of damage, but he'll have a couple of new mechs: -frontal swipe, similar to barbariccia -a stomp that stuns, untelegraphed circle aoe -occasionally he'll open his cloak suddenly; this acts as a knockback. you want to memorize how he looks before he opens this so you can get out of the way or you'll be pushed into the burning wall and incur extra damage.

at 15%, his mechs will change again.

PHASE 2 - RUBICANTE

he starts throwing out aoes at particular aggro-holders. anyone at positions 2-4 on the enmity scale he'll start to target (tanks should take care to move). this is going to be a dps-swap mixup: the aoes he casts are still fire, but they'll heal him if the telegraph is over him as well. he won't move while casting and it'll pop immediately, so dps need to take care to swap out to make sure they aren't standing near him when this goes off. -burn him the rest of the way.

when rubicante falls, he'll apologise to the figure still watching. a cutscene plays...

"you have defeated my archfiends. what, pray tell, is your goal, here?" WoL looks determined to fight. "very well."

PHASE 1 - GOLBEZ

golbez moves slow but hits HARD. doesn't telegraph, but his reach is really wide, so you're gonna want to learn what his moves look like and get the hell out of the way. as a warlock, he casts a lot of spells, but he can and will deliver devastating physical attacks.

-firaga is raid-wide and unavoidable. he'll telegraph by bringing both arms toward himself in a "preparing to throw the ball" motion. put up shields and ready your heals. heavy damage, brief burning debuff. -blizzaga, telegraphed by both arms over his head.this is going to place several ice-aoes at random positions around the centre of the room - 6 in total - and then finish with 4 ice-aoes close together in the centre of the room. get hit by more than 1 and you're afflicted with deep freeze. -thundaga will mark 10 players with a purple marker and another 10 with a yellow marker. this is raid-wide. purple marks will want to stack in the centre of the room. yellow marks need to spread out around the the edge of the room. the spell will initially hit the purple marks - the more people are stacked, the less damage it'll do - and then arc toward the yellow marks. the closer the yellows are to the purples, the more damage they'll take. the closer the yellows are to each other, the more damage they'll take. this is a positioning trick and will be a bitch to maneuver.

PHASE 2 - GOLBEZ

get him down to 70% and he'll cast BINDING COLD. everyone in the room will be STUNNED, and he'll immediately summon a SHADOW DRAGON to fight alongside him.

BOSS - SHADOW DRAGON -with the raid still stunned, she'll use an unavoidable BLACK FANG that will mark everyone with DOOM. you'll have a 30 second counter with this debuff. -golbez will be charging another spell in the meantime; don't bother attacking him. -dps need to bleed shadow dragon quickly. when hurt enough she'll drop a DRAGON SCALE, which needs to be interacted with immediately - it'll remove all doom debuffs. -if the doom counter reaches 0, you'll die.

-from hereon, shadow dragon will be fairly simple. spiral attacks, single-target heavy damage.

get rid of shadow dragon or she'll cast black fang again, and you need to start working on golbez again.

PHASE 3 - GOLBEZ

when shadow dragon dies, or within a certain amount of cast time, golbez will cast BARRIER. you'll need to work together as the raid to deal particular kinds of damage, as he'll BARRIER SHIFT every 15~ secs or so! anything that he's not weak to will show up as INVULNERABLE. attacks otherwise will land as normal. it follows a particular pattern: -immune to striking attacks -immune to magical attacks -immune to slashing attacks -immune to piercing attacks

this cycle will not deviate from the pattern. take him down by 5% each time to automatically force the barrier shift, or he'll change barrier every 120 seconds. this is going to continue along with his normal aoes from phase 1 until you bring him down to 40%.

PHASE 4 - GOLBEZ

this is where he starts swiftcasting. not much to it other than his aoes are going to hit faster, and probably two at a time. lightning aoe will need to run to the edge and then away from if blizzaga hits immediately after, etc. his animations will not change, so someone will need to keep an eye on him and probably yell to the raid what he's about to do. this goes on until  10%.

PHASE 5 - GOLBEZ

he's charging his ult at this point. he can't be interrupted or stunned, and you need to just burn him as quickly as possible. standard dps check. bust out the limits. healers need to concentrate on keeping everyone as topped up as possible. healers really need to prepare for the end of the battle, where his ult will pop whether you kill him in this time or not. WHM: pop asylum, divine benison, and heal until everyone's full. SCH: pop succor and sacred soil. AST:nocturnal sect.

his ultimate will go off when you bleed him to 0, or after a set amount of time. if he hasn't been brought down completely, the raid will wipe when the spell hits, otherwise you'll just take a lot of heavy damage. he casts METEO; a length animation, where the force of the spell rips the top of the tower off and a meteor slowly crashes into the arena, flattening everyone, including golbez himself.

TIER 5 - ????

you wake up in darkness. WoL gets to their feet. to the side, the dead body of golbez. you stagger on, through the darkness, away from the body. there's no indication of where you are. speech: "you tread the path of darkness." WoL stops, looks around. speech: "not even your precious crystal will shed light for you here." from seemingly nowhere, a mysterious robed figure glides into view. they have eyelidless, white eyes, dark blue skin, and you can't tell whether it's hovering or not. its robes seem to be made of darkness. speech: "i will stain you with shadows..."

PHASE 1 - ZEMUS

from the slow way he moves and stalks across the battlefield (much like zenos) you'd be hard pressed to think he's attacking you at all. follows normal aggro rules. tanks need to keep him moving, though. if he's stationary for more than a few seconds he'll cast a powerful knockback spell that casts several debuffs (heavy, slow, blind, silence) and inflicts heavy damage. this is a game of cat and mouse. keep him moving, dps don't let up, healers watch out for a tell-tale hand movement that will be status affliction on a random player.

continues until you get a speech prompt: "wellspring of darkness..." "give me your power!" "i, zemus, feed unto you my hatred..." "please!!"

PHASE 2 - ZEMUS

zemus is surrounded by something that looks like WAR's defiance buff. he has magic vulnerability down, damage dealt up, and now he's actually starting to hit back.

-tanks don't need to keep him moving. face him away from the party. there's no wall to pull him to, as you're still fighting in darkness. -he'll spawn adds in, wisps called DEATHLY PALLS. deal with these immediately, or they'll affix to a player and sap them of health until they're dead. -he'll start throwing out quick aoes. get out of these. they're voidal puddles that'll remain; they're dark, but you'll still be able to see them... just. don't step in them or you'll be cursed with debuffs. -frontal arm sweep that pushes people back, usually after he's dropped a load of voidal puddles

speech prompt at 50%: "NO!!!" "i am..!" "NAUGHT BUT HATE!"

PHASE 3 - ZEROMUS

the party is stunned as zeromus rips out of his host's skin. zemus expands, every pore birthing an otherworldly voidkin with menacing moue and terrifying laugh.

speech prompt: "DIE!"

-summons another meteor. this cannot be avoided, and everyne should huddle under healer barriers. a good time to heal up. -anyone casting holy will find themselves being countered with FLARE, dealing about 5-6k damage. -untelegraphed attack that shoots him in a straight line across the battlefield in whatever direction he's facing. anyone caught up will be stunned. heavy damage. -CURSE OF HATRED: telegraphed lines that go off in various directions, like titan ex's landslide. immediately followed by multiple VOIDAL CALLS around the battlefield. dps work together to burn adds (voidkin).

at 30%..

PHASE 4 - ZEROMUS

he'll cast BIG BANG. pop as many cooldowns as you can. you'll need them. inflicts massive damage and a SAPPING debuff, where your health is depleted by 4/500 every couple seconds. -also inflicts MALICE buff on himself (invulnerable for 12 seconds; will counter with flare if attacked in this time) -use this time to heal up.

he'll go back to his previous attacks from phase 3, but he'll also start spawning phase 2's DEATHLY PALLS. the voidal puddles will start increasing in amount.

PHASE 5 - ZEROMUS

this at 10%, it turns into a race against time. if you have any limit breaks, healers or dps will need to use them depending on how dire the need. burn him as hot as you can. if you don't deal enough damage, he's going to cast ULTIMA, which is an instant wipe.

once he's dead, a cutscene will play. the darkness will overwhelm WoL, upon which point they'll wake up in the tower of bab-il again, on the floor of the throne room where you fought cagnazzo. there's no indication that a battle was fought here. you and your party take a walk around the hall, but there's nothing. completely empty. no corpses, no chests, no nothing.

you leave the tower to report.

when you go back to the quest giver, they'll express surprise that you dealt with ARCH so quickly, and make sure to inform you of any developments in the future. for now, their spies don't see anything out of the ordinary from the tower.

a later quest will show you that no one found any remnants of ARCH. nothing about their motives, their plans, their conscripts... there's nothing to suggest that the archfiends themselves were primals, or monsters, or anything like that. it's just a dearth of information, which is very strange, and remarked upon by the quest giver. having said that, the resistance in garlemald is also getting turncoat garleans on their side now, as there's no danger of being discovered by ARCH and reeducated or killed. once again, you're thanked for your service.

[florchis]

Fitzsimmons + #4?

Sorry for the delay! I’m going to assume you meant 4.teacher/single parent au because I already did 4.“Do you…well…I mean…I could give you a massage?” here. I hope you enjoy it!

Teacher needs to see me after school - [AO3]

The truth is, Jemma Simmons is used to being called to Peggy’s school for “teacher-parent meetings” that are actually concealed scoldings. Being used to them doesn’t mean that they are easier to swallow, though. Peggy has a free spirit and a brilliant mind, and maybe she is just a year ahead and not a thousand, like Jemma was at her age (maybe that is the problem), but still, she shouldn’t be reprimanded for wanting better and demanding more, and Jemma will fight tooth and nail for her right to express herself. Besides, if Peggy says that some teacher’s lessons are boring her out of her mind, there is probably truth behind her words.

That’s why Jemma gets to the school on time, with her impeccable work clothes and her polite smile on, but steeling herself for a bitter reunion with some old teacher that will complain about her child non-stop. She is on her best fighter-that-will-slay-you-with-words mode, but she is startled when, instead to a rancid, dusty cupboard excuse for an office, she is sent into the Sciences Lab to meet with professor Leopold Fitz. She gets inside when she gets there, because the door is open and there is no one waiting for her outside. It’s the first time that she has set foot on this particular room of the school, and the nostalgia about her own school days is so strong that it’s almost a physical sensation, with the almost toy-like microscopes and the photogates and the big can of hydrochloric acid, everything mixed together on the same counter top. Jemma waits respectfully inside, less than a foot from the door, but when after five minutes nobody has come to meet her, she starts getting impatient.

She ventures inside the lab, going by watch glasses with crystals of cobalt oxide and pendula all over the place, until she finds a tiny office with the lights on, and knocks on the door.

“Come on in!”

She freezes a little, because is that a scottish accent? She shakes her head, because it doesn’t matter anyway and opens the door to find a man around her age, with an electric circuit on each hand, talking animatedly- twirling around his full hands and raising his eyebrows- with two students that look at him like he hung up the sun himself. Well, this isn’t what she was expecting at all.

“Hello? Mr. Fitz?”

He raises his head and wow, those are some blue eyes. Jemma swallows with a little difficulty.

“Oh, yes, Mrs. Simmons! Sorry to leave you waiting, I was just finishing up with this guys for the science fair next week.”

He makes a gesture with his head and offers them the electric circuits. The boy and the girl take one each and go out of the office speaking a mile a minute. Jemma waits till they are out before re-starting the conversation.

“It’s Ms. Simmons actually, Mr. Fitz.”

He smiles a little and offers her his hand. Jemma shakes it a little more forceful than strictly necessary, trying to feel better about her undeserved nerves.

“Oh, just Fitz is fine. Would you like to take a seat?” Jemma looks around, and every plain surface is covered with toolboxes, wires, screwdrivers, even some parts that look almost robotic. She looks back at him with a raised eyebrow, and he has the good sense to blush a little. “Oh, um, let me…”

He vacates a chair just by putting everything on the floor and she sits on it as demurely as she can, while he leans on the corner of his desk. She waits a beat for him to start the conversation, after all he is the one who called her in, but he seems too lost in thought while he stares at her. Jemma clears her throat to reclaim his attention.

“Oh, excuse me, Ms. Simmons, it’s just… do we know each other?”

Jemma crosses her hands on her lap, and tilts her head.

“I doubt it. I’m sorry, but nor your name nor your face ring any bells on my head.”

He shakes his head, and starts rummaging through a folder. It looks a little like he is just doing it to keep his hands busy.

“I don’t know, I feel like I have seen you somewhere. Not… not in person, maybe a photograph or something? I’m sorry, I’m not making any sense.”

He extends a paper that looks like a report page on Peggy. She starts reading it, while answering with a light tone.

“Well, I’m no model, and unless you are keen on reading papers about neurotoxins, I don’t think-”

She gets interrupted by a startling noise, and when she looks up she realizes it must have been his fist against his other palm.

“That’s it! I read your last paper on the uses for different dosages of dendrotoxin, was that it? It had your picture on the abstract.”

She gaps a little, because what is doing a physics high-school teacher reading her very complex paper on pharmacology?

“I didn’t made the connexion sooner, because, well, Simmons is not that uncommon of a name, and besides, I just assumed that Peggy has her father’s last name. My bad. This is what I deserve for making heteronormative assumptions. But, well, now everything makes a lot more of sense,”

Is he for real? Jemma can’t tell, because she is busy considering if it would be too obvious if she pinched herself to make sure this isn’t a dream. She only manages to close her mouth and try not to sound too much like he caught her totally off-guard.

“Come again?”

“Well, I summoned you here to talk about Peggy’s creativity and enthusiasm on my course, and to discuss her amazing possibilities for the future, of course. It is only understandable that she comes from a household with such an amazing background on science.”

It’s the first time since Peggy entered the formal education system that Jemma has been called by someone who wants to praise her daughter instead of repress her, and Jemma feels like there is something on her pharynx that she can’t swallow. She tries to compose herself by handing the report back to him, because she can’t understand a word of his handwriting anyway.

“So, um, what did you want to discuss?”

His smile is radiant and, really, Jemma, get a grip on yourself, this man is your daughter’s teacher, for god’s sake, just because he is kind and attentive with Peggy doesn’t give you the right to think that his smile is blinding and that he has nice hands. Although his hands are very nice.

Fitz hands her a handful of college brochures, and her daughter is fifteen, is he out of his mind? But there is not enough saliva on her mouth to allow her to say a word- and, also, a nagging voice on the back of her mind reminds her that it would be very hypocritical of her to make a fuss about Peggy going to college early-, so he just looks at him while he talks and talks and talks, like nothing on this world could make him happier than discussing colleges with one of his students’ mother.

“So. I had an interesting meeting at your school today.”

Peggy raises her head so fast it almost looked like she had an electric discharge, and then realizes her mistake and tries to downplay it with a noncommittal hmm. Jemma bites the inside of her cheek to not smirk. Peggy is such an awful liar: she might be adopted, but there are certain things that are obviously nurture and not nature.

“With your physics teacher, that’s it.”

Jemma sits down next to Peggy on the couch, and hands her a cup of tea. Her daughter takes it and watches her carefully from over the edge of the cup.

“And what did Mr. Fitz say?”

“He thinks you should start thinking about college in the next two years instead of three. He says he is not sure that physics or even math is really what you want to do, even though you are good at them, and that you should start considering what do you want to do. He says he is available if you want to talk to him about prospects.” Jemma makes a pause to inspect her daughter’s face without dissimulation, and Peggy avoids her eyes. “He also told me that he already had this conversation with you, but that you told him that he should discuss it with me. Like I didn’t raise a young lady capable of taking her own decisions. Now, it seems to me like there are only two plausible explanations to why you would do something like this.”

Now Peggy is definitely looking at anything but at Jemma’s face.

“And what are those options?”

“Number one, you were afraid of bringing this up to me, and you wanted someone else to do it for you. Now, it would hurt me to know you feel the need to do something like this, but I won’t get mad and I want to know it. Is that it?”

Peggy groans like she always does when her mom gets “sentimental”, and even though Jemma knew that it was unlikely, it’s like a weight got off from her chest.

“No, mom, I was going to tell you, maybe not just yet.”

“Okay, then, that leaves me only with my second choice. Margaret Simmons, did you try to set me up with your physics teacher?”

Okay, that coy smile is definitely Daisy’s, and then again with the nurture.

“Did it work?”

“No!” Jemma wants to be final, but to be honest, there is no heat behind her words. “He is your teacher and I’m your mum and it could never work!”

Peggy gets up from the couch and stretches her arms behind her ears.

“I’m not hearing a ‘I didn’t like him’ in that answer.”

Jemma almost sputters her tea, and because she never made a habit of lying to her daugher, there is only one thing left she can say.

“I’m not going to do anything at the very least until you finish high school!”

Peggy smiles at her like Jemma told her that Christmas is coming early this year. It’s not until she is at her room’s door, leaving Jemma blushing and babbling behind, that she responds.

“All the more reason for me to graduate early!” 

Oh, god, I loved writing this, so, if anyone wants to read something else about this scenario, just let me know!